"I'd set the world on fire, including myself, if it meant saving her."
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Power. It is a word easy to spell, but hard to master. It is humanity's biggest desire, and everyone wants to know what it feels like to be the most powerful person in the...
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I sat in front of the dressing table, watching my reflection in the mirror. Smokey eyes, tinted cheeks, and dark lipstick created a proper makeup look sharp, elegant, and bold. The gown, which Jimin had picked specifically for me, clung to my body like a second skin. It hugged every curve, defining my silhouette in a way that left no room for doubt. I didn't look like any less than a Queen.
I was all ready to make an appearance for tonight's Gala, and I was supposed to be feeling happy and confident. But instead, my heart had been hammering against my ribcage for the last hour. Since the moment I started to get ready, my anxiety had taken the best of me.
There was a sick feeling settled in my stomach that shouldn't have been there. My nerves were wrecking me. I had a very bad feeling about tonight. Actually, it had been lingering since yesterday, but now it felt like too much to carry. It was a sickening intuition that kept whispering that something big, something devastating, was about to go down.
My intuition was never wrong. Every time something bad was about to happen in my life, I felt it in my bones first. But tonight, I couldn't even begin to comprehend the depth of this feeling.
I looked down at the vial of anxiety pills sitting on the marble slab. They were prescribed to me by Dr. Diana, and I've been taking them for years because they help me survive the noises in my head. I really didn't want to take them tonight, as much as they helped, they also made me feel numb and drowsy, like a veil was being pulled over my world.
I closed my eyes for a moment, taking a few deep breaths, trying to find a center that wasn't there. When I opened my eyes again, the fear was still staring back at me in the mirror. My hands felt like ice, and they started to shake slightly. I really couldn't hold it back anymore. Opening the vial with trembling fingers, I grabbed two pills and put them in my mouth.
Grabbing a glass of water from the dressing table, I gulped down the medicine, the cold liquid trailing down my throat. I sat there, waiting for them to start their work, hoping they would dull the edges of my panic so I could just be myself, or at least the version of myself the world expected to see tonight. I set the glass and the vial back onto the slab before closing my eyes once more.
My hands found their way to my temples, and I started to rub them slowly, trying to soothe the pulsing tension behind my eyes. The silence of the room felt heavy, broken only by the distant, muffled sounds of the members preparing for the departure.
I could feel the coldness of the diamonds around my neck, but they felt more like a collar than jewelry. Why did the air feel so thin? It was as if the very walls of the room were holding their breath, waiting for the clock to strike. I thought of Jimin, the way he had held me in the office, the desperation in his touch, the bruised knuckles he tried to hide. Everything felt like a puzzle with missing pieces.
Slowly, the medicine began to creep through my system. The sharp, jagged edges of my heartbeat started to smooth out, and the trembling in my hands subsided into a dull stillness. The dread didn't leave, it just became quieter, a dark hum in the background of my mind.
