When No One Else Can See Your Pain (BTS Jhope Fanfic)

Breaking my wall

He kept staring at the bruise covering my forearm. His face was twisted with disgust and concern.
With a swift motion I grabbed the end part of my sleeve that fell to my elbow and quickly covered up the nasty bruise, snapping Hoseok out of his trance.

"Adalyn... What happened.."

Flashbacks of what happened yesterday started to fill my mind. I couldn't let him know. I just couldn't. I can't put him in danger as well if he tries to confront Linnex about what happened. I need to protect him and myself.

"It's.. Nothing. I was walking down my stairs and fell bumping into a couple things."

I gave him a fake smile looking at the disappointed look he had written all over his face. I knew he knew I was lying.

"Please tell me the truth, Adalyn."

I could feel my heart tear deeper every time he said my name with the concerned look on his face. He really does care for me but I can't let him find out.
I carefully lifted myself off the cold ground, not caring about the coffee that I had spilt. Returning to his worried face I felt guilt build in my chests as I knew what needed to be done.

"This was a mistake. I should have never agreed to get coffee with you."

I quickly looked at his face for a split second to see sadness written all over his face and my heart cracked with every breath I took.
Lightly pushing him out of the way of the sidewalk I walked at a faster speed trying to make it home before he stopped me but when I looked back, he had his head hanging down staring at the ground.

I'm sorry Hoseok. But I have to do this.. For our safety.

~

Walking up my steps towards my front door I hesitated unlocking the door, fearful of what might be lurking behind the door.
Steadying my shaky hand, I quickly shoved the key in and twisted the knob creaking the door open to peek inside silently.

Linnex was sprawled out on the couch with his skinny legs slung over the back of the couch with an empty vodka bottle in his hand. The living room was intoxicated with the sour smell of alcohol, filling my nose making me desperate for fresh air.
Swiftly making my way into my room without making a noise, not disturbing Linnex or mother and father, I flung the baggy jacket off my tiny shoulders and sat in the corner of my room with my knees tight against my chest.

Why do I do this to myself? Why can't I let people help me?

My mind filled with memories of all the failed attempts of help from different people only resulting in Linnex getting more violent with me. I shook my head trying to get the ugly memories out and not to replay over and over again.

Closing my eyes and leaning my head back against the wall, I imagined Hoseoks sweet smile that made me forget everything but the only image of Hoseok was the one I caught glimpse of before I left him confused and heart broken.
I could feel my eyes fill up with tears and letting them flow out, my body was exhausted from acting strong for so long. I couldn't keep up this act much longer before my body would completely give up on me.

~

Beep beep beep.

Staring up at my ceiling like I had been for the entire night, I reached my hand over to my alarm clock and shut it off. Picking my body up and rubbing my dark swollen eyes, puffy from crying all night and not getting sleep because of it, I  flung my tired legs off my bed and dragged my exhausted body towards the bathroom to get ready for my day.

~

Stacking can after can, trying desperately hard to keep my eyes open and awake for just a couple more hours. My eye lids felt entirely too heavy and I thought for sure my body would collapse soon if I didn't get any rest soon.

Reading the labels on the cans I could feel my eyelids slowly close letting them rest from the bright light but trying desperately hard to keep my body awake and alive.

"Hoseok! Why are we here again??"

My eyes snapped open at the sound of his name being called by another boy.

"We're looking for someone, Jungkook. Now keep your voice down."

I quickly grabbed the box of cans and hurriedly used the last of my energy to drag my lifeless body to the employee work room.

What was he doing here, please don't be looking for me..

My heart started to beat against my chest and anxiety started to weigh down on me like a thousand bricks. My body felt light, dizzying almost, and I knew I wouldn't be able to put up with this much longer.

"Is Adalyn working today?"

I could hear him ask somebody, my entire body heating up and started to get nervous knowing I couldn't hide in the work room for long.
After a couple minutes passed I had no other choice than to come out of hiding in the work room but it couldn't stop me from avoiding Hoseok altogether.

I grabbed my box of cans and quickly made my way without being noticed and stocked the shelves at an increased pace trying to get finished and not lingering in the same spot for too long.

"Adalyn?"

I spoke too soon.

I didn't pay any attention to him hoping that he would figure out that I didn't want to talk to him because of what happened yesterday night. The tone in his voice was sad and sincere and my heart almost became too much for me to handle.

"Please talk to me." He stepped closer to me as I kept stacking the cans, ignoring his presence.

"Adalyn! I'm really trying here! I care about you and if something is happ-

My mind snapped and I could feel my body burn with fear and anger and started yelling at him before he could finish his sentence.

"You don't know anything about what's happening! You can't pretend to care for someone you met only a couple days ago! You don't care about me, don't even fool yourself! Who said I needed your help! I can take care of myself!"

My throat turned raspy as I rose my voice towards him in an ugly manner.
I could see anger build up in his face as his chest rose up and down quickly from the deep breaths he was taking in.

"Was there a law that told me I couldn't  care about you? I know when something is wrong and I want to help you with it and be there for you, I don't care if I just met you. Please just let me help you"

My body finally give in and I no longer had enough strength to give him a counter argument.
I could feel the tears roll down my eyes onto my work shirt. I lifted my pathetically weak hands up to my face to hide what mess I've become.

I could feel Hoseok wrap his arms around me and pull me tightly towards his chest, I clung to him and weeped out all of my sorrows into his clean shirt.

"It will be okay Adalyn, just please don't run away from me."

I lifted up my messy face to find myself looking at his wide, beautiful, signature smile.

"You don't have to tell me what happened right now but I want you to tell me soon, please."

I nodded against his chest and closed my eyes feeling the emotions run through my body. I didn't know what to do anymore, but, it was a strange sensation to have someone actually care about me and my well-being.

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Hello everyone! This chapter was a little bit shorter that my previous two, I hope that's okay!
This chapter made me think a lot and definitely was a challenge for me (I suck XD)
PLEASE STAY TUNED FOR UPCOMING CHAPTERS!!!!!

THANK YOU FOR READING, many more chapter ahead ;)