The Vindicated With The Monstrous

Letters

A/N: This is a fic that I started writing on the side while writing Army Strong, I don't know whether or not I should continue so I'm posting it on here to see the response. This starts with a series of letters instead of a prologue and the letters will all connect to the story later on, hopefully that's not too confusing. Anyways, here we gooo.

Letter 1

Evidence #2

[Handwritten note; placed on a grave of a 'Michael Jauregui']

Hey dad,

I killed someone today. But it wasn't my fault.

I also went on the train today, it was a lovely ride through the city, remember when we used to ride the train together and you used to yell at me for talking too much?

That's why I'm writing to you, so that way you can't interrupt me while I'm talking to yell at me or say I'm stupid or tell me to shut up or tell me that you don't care cause I'm a failure child.

It's okay dad, I understand that, I just don't like being interrupted is all.

As I was saying, when I was on the train I saw this strange middle aged woman who had one of those natural frowns on her face, her eyes had such despair in them, and I wondered if I was looking at them or just a reflection of mine in hers?

I'm happier now, at this moment, I'm content in my sadness.

But I wasn't this content an hour ago, no I was in rage when reminded of you. How could someone be so harsh to their only child? Their supposed world? How could you lay on your death bed and look at me with the same contempt as you did on that train?

I'm sorry I'm a failure, but look, I killed mom for you! I did what you always wanted, me, the child from hell that you loved to hate.

I killed someone today. And dad, it was your fault.

With Love,

Lauren

Your failure child

Letter 2

Sent To: NYC Private Defense Corporation

Received on: October 27, 2015

Dear Ms. Hamilton,

First and foremost, I must compliment your dedication to your profession; every case you handle with exertion and diligence, and that shows with the frequency of cases ending in your favor. Because of this, I have chosen to hire you in the Central Park case. Though it is your choice on whether or not to take it, I have already enclosed the fee for your service as I'm sure you will. When you do take the case, I already have valuable information and evidence that is being withheld from the defense and can be used in your favor in court. The case is a win, she is innocent but she needs a defense that can do her justice, a defense that can find the source of her innocence and share it to us; please, take it. I also advise you, if you do take the case, to not speak of this letter as I request to have my identity concealed.

Thank you,

Anonymous Citizen

Letter 3

November 24, 2015

Dear Judge Michael,

I appreciate your thoughtfulness, respect, and fairness throughout the trial thus far. You have a passion for justice, just as I do, and I would love to have contributed to it, but unfortunately I must confess I have a personal bias pertaining to the defendant. I also do not agree with the route of prosecution that the NYC Police Department have chose to take. I am terribly disappointed in them, what is occurring is outright injustice. I won't say anything more but please analyze this case carefully, there is so much that must be known for justice to occur. For all these reasons, I would like to be excused of my duties as an expert witness for Ms. Brooke. Any more concerns please direct it to her; I'm deeply sorry for squandering your time.

Sincerely,

Dr. Cabello

Letter 4

To Karla Estrabao

[Handwritten]

I see that you want me to perceive that you don't care, but I continue to write because in my heart I know that you do. They put me in solitary again, I don't know what day it is, if it's night or day; the only companion I have is myself and it's so damn frustrating. And you act like you don't even fucking care and that's even more frustrating. What are you scared of? That I'm actually a monster? Well you know what, fuck you. I'm not. Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you

--

I was just going to end the letter there but I realized that my anger got the best of me, I won't scribble it out either because I want you to see how mad I was. How insane this place is making me. I say 'was' because I wrote that a while ago, I would love to tell you how long ago but like I said, there's no way to read time, it has to be felt. It feels like I wrote that first paragraph ages ago, I've rethought about it and now I realize how wrong I was.

See I've been trapped in here with only my thoughts to accompany me and after thinking for so long, I'm tired. I am tired of myself, I am tired of you, and I am tired of this darkness. This darkness that has been over me waiting to attack and is now here in and around me. I want you to know, before I'm too tired to live and forget why I should, before my energy dies, before I get lost in the darkness and can't ever return, that I love you. I love you but I will never be able to be with you. I already have reached a point of no return.

You were a light in the darkness and I'm sorry that you were overshadowed by it. Just know that there was never any hope for me anyway for I am, in every definition of the word, a monster.

-Lauren