The Vindicated With The Monstrous

Seventeen

"This isn't what I wanted," Lauren confessed in a whisper to Camila who she thought was already sleeping.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Camila tiredly asked as she looked up at Lauren, they were cuddled with her head on her chest.

Lauren's eyes widen in shock that Camila was still awake, it was three in the morning by now, they were at it for a very long time. "Nothing," Lauren replied dismissively as she ran her hand comfortingly along Camila naked back, "Go to sleep, babe."

"Babe?" Camila teased although the effortless way in which Lauren called her it sent shivers down her spine. Lauren simply blushed and Camila could tell immediately that she was in such a different mood, she was now much more awake because she hasn't expect Lauren to be in such a, what appears to be, loving mood after their for the most part rough and lust filled night. That's all their sex was, or at least that was Camila thought it was. She was still curious though as to what Lauren meant so she continued to press on, "Tell me, please," Camila pouted, "You know you can't just not tell me because that'll bother me for weeks"

"That's not fair," Lauren whined as Camila continued to jut out her lower lip at her. Lauren sighed, knowing she had to cave because Camila looked so adorable giving her the puppy eyes. "I just meant this situation, you know," Lauren vaguely said, briefly looking away, "This situation is not what I wanted for us."

"Well, yea," Camila replied, "That's obvious, Lauren. I don't want to be sleeping with someone who's on trial for a murder I'm investigating either, that's not very ideal."

"No, that's not what I meant," Lauren said while shaking her head, causing Camila to now look at her in confusion. "I mean, well, I do agree with that yea, so I guess I do mean it like that but I also meant it as in, like, I wish this could be more than what it is right now. I never meant to make you feel like our relationship is somehow equivalent to the one I had with Lucy."

Camila quickly began to protest, "What? No, I don't think-"

"Don't lie to yourself, Camz," Lauren cut her off which then made Camila take a second to think. It was only logical that her jealousy meant that she did think that their relationships were somehow similar. "You wanted to fuck today, you wanted me to fuck you, like how I used to with Lucy. You wanted a rough, meaningless fuck that was only fueled by lust because you wanted to even it out but you didn't realize you were actually reducing what our relationship could be," Lauren said, putting Camila in shock at just how well Lauren knew her. Even if she tried to deny it, she would only be fooling herself and this was scary for Camila. Camila was used to being inside people's minds but never before had she been so close with someone that they could see inside hers.

"How did you know that?" Camila asked, genuinely wanting to know how it was possible for Lauren to already know her this well.

"Well, how do you figure out things about people? You observe them," Lauren replied with a small smile growing on her face, "And all I've done since I've met you is observe you. But I still haven't figured you out and I don't think I ever will. At least I can say that I'm no longer completely clueless about the way your mind works."

"You should still feel proud though because I don't think anyone, in all of my life, has gotten closer to understanding me more than you already have," Camila replied, a twinkle in her brown eyes as she continued, "No one has ever really understood me, no one has ever wanted to."

Lauren smiles brightly as she lifts her hand to stoke Camila's cheek, taking in her beautiful facial features, before giving her a soft kiss. It was much more innocent than any of their kisses as it only lasted a few seconds before Lauren pulled away. "This is what I wanted," Lauren said before letting out a sigh and then continuing, "I didn't want to fuck you today, that wasn't what I wanted because that's not what this relationship is, even if that's all we have done so far. Our relationship is not like anything I've ever had before, I've never felt so strongly about someone like this," Lauren pauses to try to calm herself down, she can feel herself trying to fight off her tears because of the strong emotion she is trying to express. The emotion that she has kept locked away for a while now. She closes her eyes momentarily and then continues, "I want so much more than this, I want things I never thought I'd want. Camila, I just, I want you to be mine."