Remember for me

Chapter seventeen:

"Woah, you were happy to see Mark" Lex chuckled as her Mother blushed in embarrassment.

"I thought he was the one, you know, because he kinda reminded me of Derek" Meredith muttered.

"What ever happened to Aunt Christina and Burke?" Bailey questioned "we know she kept PJ, but did she ever tell him? Did he just find out when she got fat?" Bailey pressed.

"How about I fill you in on Aunt Christina and Burkes...predicament before I explain what happened at thanksgiving, and then Christmas?" Meredith suggests.

"More happened before Christmas?" Ellie asks.

"Only a few little thanksgiving...details. Christmas comes right after, don't worry" Mer smiled.

"Tell us what happened with Aunt Christina" Zola urged.

So Meredith did.

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Christina's POV:

I was eleven weeks pregnant. And it freaking sucked.

Not only did I have to get ultrasounds every few weeks, but I was always tired and hungry. And getting sick.

Morning sickness was a pain in the ass.

I also had to look at adoptive families once I reached my third trimester. I wanted to be sure the baby was going to be born healthy before I promised it to a family who really wanted to have kids.

My baby deserved to be with a family. A mom, a dad, and a big brother. Not me, a surgical junkie who wouldn't be home often and would have to have pizza or Chinese food dropped off for supper instead of home made chicken or pot roast.

I wanted to keep it, but at the same time I didn't. Meredith talked me out of abortion, so I figured adoption was the next best thing. I'd be giving a family something they wanted but couldn't have; a baby.

"How could you ever do that?" Alex asked me. So far, only Baileys interns knew. Partially because Izzie has a big mouth and partially because...they're family.

"Do what?" I ask "bring a child into the world and then give it to a family who can't have any children even though they desperately want them?"

"How could you give birth, and look at the tiny little guy with his tiny little hands and feet, his small head of hair and just hand him over?" Alex had issues with adoption, since he was in foster care growing up. "How could you look at a human being that is fifty percent you, who has your eyes and hair and little nose, and fork him over?"

"Alex is right" George spoke up "you can afford a baby, you have an apartment and a steady job. And more than one person who would help you out. It would be different if you were 16 and in high school or still in Med school or if you didn't have a job"

I thought about it, and I knew it would be hard. To smell his tiny head, see his tiny hands and feet and see myself in him, then just 'fork him over'. But it had to be done. I wanted more for the baby then me.

"Or she" Izzie spoke up "she could look like you, she could be exactly like you. She could grow up as a Christina 2.0 and you'd miss it all"

I couldn't take it. I couldn't sit there and listen to this. I had about twenty minutes before my OB appointment, but I didn't want to sit there and listen to my friends tell me these things.

"I have an appointment" I mutter, standing up as walking away.

~

Thirty minutes passed, and I was lying down in the OB's office. My shirt was rolled up to my ribs and the doctor was squirting jelly on my abdomen.

"It's a little cold" she smiled, before squirting it on. "Do you want to wait for the Dad to come before I do anything else?" She asks me.

"The dad...isn't in the picture" I say "when i am positive the baby is healthy, I'm going to look for adoptive families"

"Little early to be making such a huge decision" she started the ultrasound. I nodded, but didn't say anything.

"There's a strong healthy heartbeat" the OB smiled, and I suddenly heard a little thump thump thump fill the room. My baby's heartbeat.

"I'll get you a few pictures- oh, look! Little ones little head" she pointed to the screen "that's his head, right there is his abdomen and right there is the start of his arm. That's his little hand" all I saw were little blobs that were attached to make up a baby.

But she pointed to what was his little hand...or her little hand.

"How could you give birth, and look at the tiny little guy with his tiny little hands and feet, his small head of hair and just hand him over?"

She handed me a towel, and I wiped off my stomach.

"Here you go!" She handed me a stack of tiny pictures "you'll be able to see more at around 16 weeks. Come back in a week or so, since you're always on your feet I want to keep a close eye on you" I nodded and quickly ran out of there, looking at the tiny pictures.

I smiled, but quickly caught myself and stopped. That's his little hand.

I guess I wasn't paying attention, because I ran into someone and dropped the pictures.

"Let me help you" I recognized that voice. Burke. Crap.

"I got it" I was about to get the pictures, but Burke got to them before I could.

"Christina..." he looked at them, and I sighed. "Are these yours?"

"And yours" I snatch them and start to walk away, but he pulls me aside.

"I'm sorry. And we are talking about it" he said "I want to know everything, why you didn't tell me and how far along you are? Are you okay, is it okay?" He was freaking out a bit.

I pulled him into an on call room, and locked the door. "Burke, I'm not keeping it. As soon as I know it's healthy I'm looking for families to take it"

"Christina, answer my questions. That's my baby too!" He growls.

"I'm 11 weeks. Morning sickness is going to be the death of me. I get ultrasounds every week, the kid is okay, and I didn't tell you because you broke up with me the day I was going to!" I raise my voice a bit.

"I dumped you to protect you! Do you think I wanted to? Because all I want to do right now is kiss you and tell you it's gonna be okay!" He shouts at me.

I'm shocked, honestly. But I don't let it show. Surgical poker face.

"Everything will be fine. And a family will get a baby!" I yell back.

"Not" he growls "not without my permission" with that, he stomps away.

And I know, I know for a fact, adoption isn't an option for me anymore. Either Burke will keep the baby or I will.

And I'm going for the latter, because he took so much from me. He isn't getting my baby too.

A/n- the next chapter will be thanks giving and then were jumping right to Christmas! Sound good? Yeah it sounds epic.

Anyone wanna take a guess at what happened on Christmas? Not giving and hints! But it's gonna make you be all like "WOAH"

vote, comment and check out my other stories.

Thanks for reading :)

~Daisy