Where do I belong? A Legolas Love Story

Chapter 12 Night on the Plains

Chapter 12

I followed Gandalf, though I knew the way. "Arathina, are you all right?" Dad asked whispering in my ear.

"I will be, I'm just trying to deal. He was the first person I told anything about my past too. The first person I knew that would understand." I fell silent and pushed my horse for more speed. I wasn't in the mood to talk.

I felt him place his hands on my upper arms. "Arathina," he said gently. I shook my head, I didn't want to talk. "It will help if you talk," dad said.

"Perhaps, but I'm not ready." Soon we were making camp. "I'll go get firewood," I said getting off my horse. I headed into the woods whose shadow was creeping over our campgrounds, stretching further across the ground, blanketing it in darkness.

"I'll go with you," Legolas said grabbing his bow. I walked into the woods, not paying Legolas any mind. I bent down to pick up a branch. "You know it does get better." I just kept picking up sticks. "I know it doesn't feel like right now, but it will."

"It sounds as though you speak from experience," I said picking up some more sticks. I didn't turn to look at him. I continued doing what I was doing.

"I am. I lost my mother a while ago. It took me a long time to move on before I could even talk about it. It was a while before I even realized that I needed to talk about it," Legolas said while also picking up sticks.

"I'm sorry about your mother," I said trying to hold back my tears.

"Thanks, and I'm sorry for your loss as well," Legolas said.

I smiled slightly, "I'm not the only one who lost someone just a few days ago." I wiped at my eyes. Legolas set down the wood he was carrying. He walked towards me.

"Come here," he said softly. I came up to him and wrapped my arms around him and cried into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. "I can't tell you when but I can tell you it will get better." I'm not sure how long we stood there, but after a while, we gathered up the wood and headed back to camp. We would need the fire to cook, but I did have some Lembas bread in the packs I had picked up. They were still strapped to my backpack I had brought with me from the world I grew up in.

When I got back to the camp I put the wood down and started the fire. I took off the extra packs I had picked up and pulled out some Lembas bread and extra water skins that were still full. I passed them around to everyone. "Now I see why you grabbed these packs," Dad said. I smiled slightly. I took one small bite of Lembas even though I wasn't hungry. The last time I had anything to eat was the morning Boromir was killed. That was four days ago and I had been running since Boromir's death.

While eating I sat alone. I just couldn't deal. After a while, Gandalf came to stand beside me. "You know you can't shut your friends out forever. Especially your father. You're hurting them."

"I know, I just don't know how to let them in. I've kept people out for 18 years. I put up walls that I no longer know how to tear them down. I knew this was going to happen and still, I can't believe it. I got extremely close to someone I knew was going to die. You were right, the future that I have read in my world is woven too deep in the fabric of this world to change."

"You know that everyone here has experienced loss before. Let them help you."

"I don't know how," I replied. Gandalf got up and left and dad took his seat. He didn't say anything; just put his arm around my shoulders. Now was a good a time as any. I might as well tell him my past. I leaned into him, accepting his embrace. "I'll tell you about my past," I said.

"Are you sure?" dad asked. I nodded. And so I told him my story of how I was abused, stabbed, whipped, and beaten. Of how I was going to be raped by the man that I was supposed to be able to call father. When I was done I was sobbing into his shoulder and he was stroking my hair. "I am so sorry, I thought I was keeping you safe."

"It's not your fault," I said. "You did what you thought best."

"If I hadn't had sent you then you would have gone through that," dad said.

I hugged him, "It's not your fault dad." He hugged me back. He started rubbing my back and I knew he could feel my scars.

"How much of you suffered?" I didn't answer him. He didn't need to know that. He already felt bad enough for having to send me away to keep me safe from something in this land. That night I slept next to my father as he and Gandalf kept watch. Tomorrow we would free Rohan from the grasp of Saruman.