So today was my birthday. As expected it was terrible. For 14 years now I've never had a great birthday. A birthday filled with joy.
Never.
Idk why.
So 1, in P.E. we had to run
8 laps.
2, My friend forgot that it was my birthday. Thanks.
3, My Bio teacher just...ugh. Ugh.
4 I 100% failed my math test. Now, usually when people say they failed--then they receive their paper...and they actually got an A+?? Yeaa..that's not me. Like I didn't study so..long story why.
5, my ride for after school didn't show up...
6, so I had to walk from my school--which is very very very far, to my home.
And I live in Las Vegas. The desert. A very very hot place.
So I walk home from school which was a very very very very very very very very very long walk and I see my dad & siblings waiting outside my home. They unfortunately got locked out and I had the key.
So I give it to my lil Sis through the gate and then I collapse on the floor.
Why??? Because my ffucking apartment complex is so fucking strict that's why. So I have to wait for someone to come out in order to get in. Greatt.
So my dad sees me laying on the ground and tells me to
J-Walk in. And me being me said:
"No! I can't! That's bad!! We'll get a violation!" So then I just stand up and head to the office so I can get through and go in.
So as I'm walking, I have to use the bathroom. Great again. So I make it up to the office and I ring the little doorbell thing. The security comes and opens the door and I'm like:
😡 "can I use the bathroom? Please?"
"Yea just get in through the gate and I'll let you in through the back."
"Oh...but I don't have the card to get in. . ."
"Do you live here?? What complex do you live in?"
" #### "
"How do you usually get in?"
"Oh I just wait for someone to come out so I can get in."
Now can I please just use the goddamn motherfucking bathroom already!!?! I DIDNT COME HERE TO CONVERSATE!!!
So finally after a thankfully short talk about violations blah blah he let's me use the bathroom. So I use it, then I just start crying!!
Shit. Like hyperventilating ugly crying. And it takes a lot for me to cry. Ever since I've been in hell (school) I've been crying a lot more lately.
I'D THROW MY SISTERS SHIT AT THAT SCHOOL!!!
Secta. Smh. More like kess meh aesscta. Idk. I'm trying to light up the mood because I'm still kinda crying as I type . . .
So then I was wash my hands and leave. I'm tearing up still.....then I see my dad. Great. Haha! He says happy birthday, hands me my bday ca$h, then asks why I'm crying. Then he kinda hugs me and says
"It's your birthday, you're the birthday girl! You're not supposed to be crying!"
Dad, just because it's my birthday doesn't mean I'm going to be happy, or I have to be happy.
So then I he asks if I'm ok and at this point all I can do is nod. He asks if I'm sure--nod. Then I walk into my house full on crying. It's terrible.
Then here I am now.
Please do not comment happy birthday. I will find you then throw a brick at your face. There's nothing happy about my birthday. Nothing.
I feel like God hates me and I'm actually a spawn of Satan. Someone strike me now.
I'm just a little more closer to giving up. Stop trying.
