Bad Dreams //mgc

21.

*Ashton's POV*

"Oi mate!" I yelled at Calum as he put a bag of frozen peas on my cheek.

"Shut up and quit being a pussy," he snarled. "What was that all about anyways? It's not like you to be that much of an ass, especially about someone you don't know."

I really don't know why I said those things. Maybe its because I can see a change in Michael lately. "I just don't want him to get hurt. He's been... well, different, since he met her, ya know?"

"Is that a bad thing?" Now that I think about it, it really isn't. The changes I see in Mikey have been very good actually. Shit, I screwed this up didn't I?

My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of Michael clearing his throat. He's holding hands with Cara and he's shuffling around on his feet nervously.

"Um," he starts. "I'm really sorry mate. I don't know what came over me. I just, got so mad ya know? You don't know anything about what she's been through. All you see, all anyone sees, is the outside, what she let's people see. But, um... I shouldn't have hit you. Sorry."

Wow, okay. Never saw that coming. I can't remember the last time Michael's apologized to me when we argue. I'm usually the one who breaks down first and apologizes. I can't stand people being upset with me. Well hell.

"I'm sorry, too Mikey. You were right, I don't know what I'm talking about. I shouldn't have said those things." I looked to Cara, "I'm sorry Cara." She looked surprised at that. I guess he didn't tell her what I actually said. I'm greatful for that.

"It's okay, Ashton. Ummm," she looked up at Michael and he nodded before she continued. "Can we go get some coffee? I'd like to talk to you."

"Absolutely," I told her smiling. "I'd like that."

*****

*Cara's POV*

We decided on Starbucks because, well, who doesn't like Starbucks! After we got our coffees, we found an empty couch in the corner and I thought it would be perfect.

I'm not sure where to start. I guess I'll just dive in. This isn't as hard to talk about as other things. Here goes nothing!

"So, um... Michael said you might be a good person to talk to. I know I have a lot of issues, and I'm trying to work on them. But its not easy, ya know. A lot of shit's gone wrong for me." Deep breath Cara, you can do this.

"I was 6 when my mom was diagnosed with cancer. My brother David was still a newborn. She went through every treatment known to man at the time, even experimental treatments in the Caribbean. They helped. She was given 6 months, but lived almost 4 years. About 9 months before she died, she and my dad told me that Dad wasn't my real dad. That he split when she found out she was pregnant. After that is when all the treatments failed her. I started to have to do everything for my brother - making his dinner, giving him a bath, putting him to bed, playing with him. Everything. I had to keep the house clean, give my mom her medications, change bandages, do laundry... When she died, I lost everything. My mentor, my best friend, mom mom. And although my dad is the only dad I've ever know and the only dad I'll ever need, it still hurts. Knowing that he didn't want me. He didn't want me, my mom left me. I know that wasn't by choice, but still. She left me. I thought I was happy with TJ, my ex-fiancee but even he left me. Everyone that I think cares about me leaves. That's part of why I don't trust anyone." And...bring on my tears again. I'm such a crybaby. "Anytime anyone starts to get close, I tend to push them away. I don't want to go through that again." The words just keep flowing out of my mouth. This is a first. "And I'm really scared Ashton, I want to trust Michael. He's different. I feel so comfortable and safe with him. I've never felt this way before. It scares me. I don't want to push him away, but I'm scared to get too close!"

I didn't even realize I felt that way. I'm not one to let myself feel emotion. Emotions make you weak and I can't afford weakness. That's how you get hurt. Trusting people is how you get hurt. Why the hell did I just spill all this to him. He's practically a stranger! Its because Michael trusts him. And I trust Michael. I'm screwed.

Ashton sighed as he took my hand in his enormous hands and looked at me with a smile. "I'm sure Michael told you my family story. That's why you felt able to tell me yours. Its nothing to be ashamed of, Cara. No family is perfect. I know you miss your mom. Not a day goes by that I don't miss my dad. We can miss our parents together." I know now what Michael meant when he said Ashton's a good listener. "You don't have to deal with this on your own. People care about you. I was wrong to judge you so quickly. Michael is like a brother to me. He's changed since he met you, in the best way possible, but it scared me. I know your fears of losing people you love. I feel it too. I got scared of losing Mikey to you. But I can see now that I won't be losing my best friend, I'm gaining another one."

We both turned to face each other as I said "Thank you Ash" and we hugged each other for awhile before heading back to their house.