Bad Dreams //mgc

44.

*Cara's POV*

The power's been out for only one hour and it's total chaos! These guys seriously can't survive without modern day conveniences. Ashton's the most calm and he's trying really hard to keep the guys busy but it isn't working out very well.

"I know! Let's have a camp out! In the living room! Like we did at Uncle Pete's" Ashton was so proud of his idea. He ran all over the house grabbing all the pillows and blankets and anything else he could find. "Luke! Help me! You're the fort master!!!" I shook my head as I went in the kitchen. Regan and I planned ahead and brought my dads camping stove (he insisted I keep one on hand for times like these) and two perkapots. We cannot survive without our morning coffee.

I started one pot of plain hot water for hot cocoa and hot apple cider as Luke pretended to be a French sculptor creating his masterpiece. Once the water was hot I poured out our drinks.

"Who's thirsty?!" I called out. Mikey and Calum came barrelling in and I heard Luke yelling at them in a poor French accent they they were ruining his masterpiece. Lord have mercy!

Everyone piled in Ashton and Luke's fort and started chatting, but I stayed in the corner, taking this opportunity to think about everything's that's been going on in the past month and a half since I moved here.

I could care less about TJ anymore. I've moved on from that and I'm so happy with Michael, but things have been so hectic lately. The court case against Trevor is going to be hard. I was drunk, and they will use that against me, I've been with many guys before, which they'll definitely bring up, but the fact remains I fought, I said no, I told him to stop. In the end, he's a sick fuck who needs to go to jail. I'm really nervous about it but it's not worth it to stress about that yet.

Then there's my grandfather. Yes, that ended awhile ago, but telling Michael about it really brought it to the front of my mind again. I tried to bury it and lock it all away but it still haunts me. I want to move past this and be myself again. I don't want to get flashbacks, or freeze up when certain things are said. After explaining to Michael what happened, it's helped some. By never speaking of the actual things that happened, I let him keep control over me and made me think it I was wrong for it. He made me feel guilty and ashamed so I would never speak of it. And it worked, until Michael Clifford came into my life. Now I realize that I was never at fault. He was just protecting his own sick mind.

And then there's Chris. My heart hurts right now. I do believe what he said. I have no doubt in my mind that my uncles would have beat the shit out of him if given half a chance. My mom was their baby sister. She was definitely the favorite sibling that all 6 of them loved and protected. Yes, my mom had two sisters and four brothers. Huge family I know. They are the ones who instilled the importance of family in me. I believe Chris when he said he was too scared to fight for mom, for me. And his family knows about me. He didn't keep me a deep dark forgotten secret. He was respecting moms wishes. He respects dad for stepping up and stepping in when he was afraid to. He never wanted to take that away from dad. Maybe he's not so bad, maybe I can give this whole friendship thing a shot.

My thoughts are interrupted when Michael comes over and puts his arm around me. "What are you doing over here all by yourself?"

"I just needed a little space. I needed to think for awhile. So much has hit all at once that my head is spinning. I'm just glad I have you here with me."

"I'm here for you every step of the way angel. I love you."

"I love you too Mikey, and thank you for being so patient. Not many guys would stick around through all this shit I have going on."

"No other guys loves you like I do. At least they better not!" he says chuckling.

I laugh along with him for a moment before continuing, "But seriously Michael, I'm broken and I don't know if I'll ever be completely fixed. My grandfather shattered me to a point that I don't know if I'll ever be completely whole again, but I love you so much and I can heal in time. With you by my side. And, I think I'm going to call Chris again. Try and get to know him."

He squeezes me in tighter and tells me, "I think that's a great idea."

The lights start to flicker on and Calum runs back the hall, "Thank fuck!" reemerging with his bass guitar and amp "I've missed you baby!" He says softly while carressing it. Everyone starts laughing as the guys all go grab their instruments as well, Ashton dragging out his cajon.

"So Cara, we've kind of all been working on this for you. All four of us love you!" and they start playing. Michael then begins singing and I start crying happy tears.

"Everybody's got their demons
Even wide awake or dreaming".........