Bad Dreams //mgc

33.

*Cara's POV*

It's New Years Eve. New Years Eve and my boyfriend hates me, thinks I'm a cheating slut, and I can't even tell him the truth. My life sucks. But I need to keep going. One day at a time. I go to stretch before getting out of bed and I realize there's someone with me. What the hell? I open my eyes and see the familiar tattoos around Michael's elbows. When and why did he get here?

"Good morning angel," he says sleepily. God I love his morning voice.

"What are you doing here Michael?" I ask as I manage to turn over to face him. I gasp. "Oh my god!" Michael was obviously the one on the receiving end of the fight I heard on the phone last night.

He just sighed and said, "I deserved it." Yes, he did but I still don't like to see the dark purple bruise on his cheek and jaw. "But to answer your question, Regan let me in last night but you were already asleep. I needed to make time for us to talk."

I nodded because I didn't know what to say. I am still hurt really bad over what he said to Ashton about me last night.

"I am really sorry angel. For so many things. For assuming there was something going on between you and Ash, for not giving you a chance to defend yourself, and especially for those horrible things I said about you. I feel awful. I really hope you know that I don't mean any of it. I was hurting, so I used words that I knew would hurt you. But I didn't mean any of it. I came over last night because I don't understand why you've been so distant this week. It feels like you've been pushing me away and I hate it. I am trying to give you the space you need to work through things, but I just want to spend every minute with you. I know that sounds clingy, and I'm really not clingy. It's just that there's been no communication between us since we got back and it makes my mind go places it doesn't need to be. I know it's extremely hard for you to trust people, and I really blew it last night, but I want you to be open and honest with me. I want to help you work through everything. I just want you to be happy. That's all I need."

How does he know that what he says is exactly what I need to hear? It's really hard to open up to people, I've built these walls around myself to keep people out, to keep myself from getting hurt, yet he knows how to tear them down with no effort whatsoever.

"Say something baby, please. Don't shut me out." I guess I was thinking about what he said longer than I thought.

The only thing I can think to say is "What you heard Regan and I talking about was my grandfather, Pam's dad. Something happened years ago that I'm extremely ashamed of. It's too hard to talk about because I was so incredibly stupid and naive. Nobody, and I mean nobody, knows exactly what happened. Regan's the only one I've talked to about it, and even she doesn't know everything. It's too embarrassing." I bury my face in my hands. Its too humiliating to even look at him. "I'm so afraid that you'll leave me if I tell you and I won't be able to bear it if it comes out in the courtroom."

God I've been crying way too much lately. I hate this, and I hate myself for it.

"Cara angel, I love you so much. I have never felt this way about anyone before. I don't care what you did or didn't do in your past. All I care about is you now. Your past led you to me and I wouldn't want it any other way. Everyone has things they're ashamed of. Its part of growing up. I honestly wouldn't care if you killed someone, because that shaped who you are today, which is the Cara I love."

"You don't have to ever tell me if you don't want to, I just don't want to see this eat you alive. I just want you to be happy."

I'm at a total loss of words. He's cracking through the last wall and I can begin to see my heart underneath it. It's still jet black, but it's there.

(a/n: sorry but I just had to)

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him in for a kiss. I put all my love and heart into it and I feel the same in return. I'm so in love with this man. It scares the hell out of me, but I never want it to end. I sit up and tug on the ends of his shirt and he quickly removes it, giving my hands full access to roam over his chest. His hand slowly slide under my shirt, grazing on my bare skin until they reach my bra strap (I fell asleep without changing into pajamas last night). I nod through my kiss to let him know this is okay. He quickly unclasps my bra and very slowly make their way around to my breasts. I unintentionally let out a small moan and he removes my shirt and bra quickly, allowing him full view of my naked chest. I am extremely self conscious of my breasts because they are so small, but Michael doesn't seem to mind. His breath hitches and he mutters "You are so gorgeous!" As he takes my full breast into his mouth, licking, nipping and tugging on one then the other. He pulls away and leans his forehead against mine. "I love you Cara."

"And I love you."

a/n I did not intend for there to be any smut in this story, but hey, you can't have a michael fanfic without it, right?!