Bad Dreams //mgc

27.

*Cara's POV*

"He raped me."

My mind goes blank. Completely blank.
I don't know how to feel.
I don't know how to react.
I'm in the eye of the hurricane. The shitstorm hit, and now is absolutely nothing. At some point I have to face the rest of the storm, but I have no idea how.

The moment the words came out of my mouth, Michael froze. Everyone did.

I know it's not my fault. I mean, sure, I probably could have prevented it from happening, but that did not give him the right to do that to me. He's sick. Absolutely sick. It is not my fault. I thought he was a friend. We all did. But we thought wrong.

I know that everyone handles things differently and I am not the norm. I guess in some ways this is worse than the other thing, but in other ways, I can get through this much easier. Now that I know what exactly happened, I can face it and keep going. I know it's not going to be easy and I won't ever forget what happened. But I am making the choice not to let it control me.

My only concern is Michael.
This is too much for him to handle. We haven't even been official for 24 hours. This is too much. He shouldn't have to carry this burden. Its MY burden. He is such a wonderful guy with such a loving, caring heart. He deserves better. He doesn't need to deal with all that is yet to come from this. I am not letting Trevor get away with this. It's probably going to be a long drawn out mess that he doesn't need. He has his own goals in life. I can definitely see the band making it far. They're that good. This is not something any of them need to be dealing with. I don't know why I blurted that out. I should've kept it to myself. They probably all blame me for it anyways. Obviously they do. Its seriously been, what 10 minutes and nobody has moved or spoken. This is getting really uncomfortable now.

"I'm sorry Michael. We can leave in the morning and you never have to speak to me again." I have to let him know I understand.

"Wh-what are you talking about?"

"You have too many things going on and too much ahead of you to have to deal with all my shit. I'm not dragging you into this. It's okay, I understand. Honest." I try to explain.

"Cara are you insane?! I've told you time and time again that this is not your fault. I don't care if you were drunk or not. That did not give him the right to force himself on you. And I am not letting you go through this alone. I will support you no matter how you choose to handle all this. I know what you're thinking and I'm not saying this out of pity or because I think it's the right thing to do or whatever. I want to be here for you. I want to help you through this. Because I care about you. Because I love you Cara!" He paused for a second before continuing.

"I don't expect you to say it back. I'm okay with that. You have enough other shit to worry about than how you feel or don't feel about me. But I needed to make sure you know that I'm here every step of the way because I love you, okay?"

I nodded. My head hurts from overload right now. So much has happened in the past, what? hour? I am so exhausted and I really need to digest all that's happened. But that's not happening yet, apparently. They all seem to have something to say.

Ashton is the first to say anything. "I have two things to say real quick. First of all, I am very sorry, to both of you, for the things I said those first few days. I didn't understand and I was a dick. I'm sorry. Second, Cara, what Michael said is true. None of this was your fault. And I wanted to let you know that I'm also here for you in any way I can."

"Same goes for me Cara. You're part of our family now and we're here to help and support you," Luke added.

"You welcomed me into your family, Cara," Calum started, "and you're part of ours. We all care about you and love you. Not in the same way as Mikey here, but we all love you!"

Regan was the last to speak because of all her tears. "We made it through before, we'll do it again. I love you sis!"

At this point, I'm in tears all over again. But this time they are of joy. And love.

"I love all of you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me. How much you all mean to me! Thank you!" I turned back to Michael through my tears, put one hand behind his neck and look him in the eye when I say, "And I love you Michael!" and I pull in into me and press my lips to his.