Bad Dreams //mgc

42.

*Cara's POV*

"Hello?"

"Cara? This is Chris, your father."

"Yeah, hi." I look at Ashton, scared. He takes my hand into his and squeezes.

"I was really surprised when Lance called me. I'm really glad you called him."

Silence. I don't know what to say. Ashton nods his head once at me.

"Yeah, I've been tracking people down, they'd give me a name and number. It's taken a little while."

"Who all have you spoken to? Not that it matters. I assume Phyllis was your first call?"

"Yeah she was. Then Doug, I can't remember exactly. My friend Ashton helped me out a lot." I smiled at Ashton. I'm still in Michael's lap so I lean against his chest. I need to be as close to him as possible.

"Wow," he said. "You've done better than me. I started looking for you, but the last address I had was from before your mom died. I figured your dad wouldn't like it too much to hear from me. Your mom was the only way I ever knew what you were up to." What?? My mom had kept in contact with him? I looked alarmingly at Ashton and pretended to write on an imaginary sheet of paper. Michael pointed to his desk and Ashton got them and brought them to me. I quickly wrote:

"He's been looking for me too"

"I used to visit with you, ya know. You and your sister Sarah used to play at the playground. This was when you guys were in Texas for her radiation treatments. I had to meet you and your mom secretly because your grandmother despised me. For a tiny woman, she scared the shit out of me." I couldn't hold back the laugh at that.

"That's Mamaw all right!"

"You laugh like her." Okay, that made me freeze on the spot. Michael started rubbing my back again and Ashton was rubbing my hand between his. What would I do right now without them?!

"I'm sorry Cara. I just wanted to let you know that I loved your mother very much, and part of me still does. Your grandmother was very strict, obsessively so. She would, like, booby trap, your moms clothes before we'd go anywhere. She hated me from the start because I was military and I had a motorcycle."

I gasped. "I remember that motorcycle!"

"Really? I only brought it around you once before your mom yelled at me for it!"

"Your uncles scared the hell out of me. Especially Jake and Rob." I could see that. Uncle Jake is a marine now and uncle Rob is scary as hell! "After they found out Trish was pregnant, they waited by the gate to base and I couldn't leave. They wanted to kill me. We were forbidden to see each other again." He sounded like he was getting choked up. "I should've fought for you Cara, but I was too much of a pussy. I'm sorry."

I wasn't expecting that. We were both in tears. I buried my head in Michael's chest and cried silent tears. I really need to stop doing that!

I sat back up. Stay strong Cara! "Mom kept you updated on me?" I asked again.

"Yes, she would send me pictures from time to time, and letters, and tests from school. She always said it could only be one sided. She never wanted me to contact you because of your dad. It wasn't until you turned 18 that I started looking for you. Not very hard, I admit, but I did. My wife and your two sisters know all about you." He paused. "Cara, your dad is a great man. He raised you when I didn't. He will always be your dad and I never ever want to take that from you. I cannot replace your dad, but if you'll let me, I'd like to be your friend."

I couldn't speak. This was all too much. He continued after a few minutes. "You don't have to decide now. This is a lot for one night. Think about it. You have my number now. You can always call me, any time day or night."

"Okay," is all I could croak out.

"I know you can't say this back, but I do love you Cara. I've loved you since before you were born."

"Goodnight Chris."

"Goodnight Cara."

I dropped my phone on the bed, took my hand from Ashton's and turned and hugged Michael with all my might. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.