Chapter 37
Literal na napaawang labi ako, bumalik ako sa huwisyo nang dilaan ni Tatty ang kamay ko at tumahol, naubos na pala niya ang dog food niya.
Pero hindi pa rin ako makakilos ng maayos, mahal niya ako...
He just told me that he loves me!
Umiwas ako ng tingin, narinig ko ang malakas na buntong-hininga ni Travis, "Kai, the kiss was just nothing compared to our first accidental one, ikaw ang first kiss ko, Kai, and I'm making it sure that you'll be my last kiss, sa harap pa ng altar."
Tumalikod ako sa kanya at umaktong nilalagyan ng dog food ang plate ni Tatty at pinapakain siya, nagulat ako dahil biglang may sinuot si Travis sa aking leeg, tinignan ko iyon at nakita ang necklace na iniwan ko sa kanya.
"I thought you already lost the other half of mine." Halatang masaya si Travis, bigla niya akong niyakap mula sa likod. "I'm so sorry for being a jerk..."
Hindi ako kumibo.
"I dedicated my time investigating my childhood bestfriend's whereabouts when I had the power then it led me to you, at first, I was doubting if my search were really true so I came to confirm it with my two eyes. On that night that you were almost raped, I was watching you and there was the nostalgic feeling, I suddenly knew it was you and I felt stupid things play inside of me, sinundan kita noon habang kinakaladkad ka ng lalake, I was fighting the urge to kill that guy, I controlled myself..."
Tahimik lang ako, pero alam kong alam niya na nakikinig ako. So that explains it all kung bakit nasa eskinita siya noon?
"It was really totally unexpected that you'd see the tattoo on my back because I had to take off my shirt for your ripped dress and my tattoo reacts to moonlight..." Tumigil siya, "when we were young, you said you wanted to see a glowing tattoo." I remember that. "So I had one for you."
"So it was intended for me all along?"
He nodded. "It wasn't really an accident that you saw my tattoo."
Tumango lang ako.
"Kai, naalala mo ba noong sinabi mo sa akin na mahal mo ako sa opisina kahapon?" Travis whispered.
Bigla akong namula. Mabuti na lang at hindi ako nakaharap sa kanya.
"B-Bakit?"
"I really felt happy when you said that, when you walked out, I came after you to explain things but Stel stopped me, when I finally escaped Stel, I found out that you were already on the move down at the elevator, hindi mo alam kung gaano ako na-depress, Kai, I wanted to stab myself because of it."
Kinagat ko ang babang labi ko.
Binitawan na ni Travis ang pagkakayakap sa akin, "just hearing you say you love me is enough for me to keep on going, Kai."
"But yeah, you were right, maybe I'm really like all the other guys. I really hate myself for making you cry, Kai... I don't want to be any more reasons for you to hurt or cry again, Kaira. I can't bear myself to see you cry because of me so I'm going to let you go."
Those words echoed in my mind, tinignan ko si Travis.
Nginitihan niya ako at saka ako hinalikan sa noo, "always remember this Kai, I love you, ever since I first laid my eyes on you when we were still kids, I had a crush on you. You brought light to my world, Kai. You gave a new different meaning to what love is."
"T-Travis..."
"I don't deserve you, Kai. I know I never even had a chance to begin with, I know you were just confused with your feelings, time will tell you Kai, maybe we weren't really meant for each other, I'm going, I love you, Kai."
The Kai almost sounded like bye to my ears.
Lumingon ako at nakita si Travis na naglalakad na palabas ng unit ko. I wanted to run after him and chase him.
But if I catch him, what would I say?
~*~
Pinaalaga ko muna si Tatty kay Lola Dorora dahil hindi ko pa maaasikaso si Tatty, kinwento ko sa mga kaibigan ko ang buong nangyari. Halatang nagulat sila dahil sa dami ng rebelasyon na nalaman nila.
"Walang mangyayari kung magpapataasan kayo ng pride ni Travis." Iling ni Trisha.
"Babaan mo muna ang pride mo, Kai! Mahal mo si Travis, di ba? Edi ipaglaban mo siya!" Vivi suggested.
I closed my eyes. "Let Kai think this for herself." Suway ni JM.
Nagbuntong-hininga si Blue, "are you really alright with this, Kai?"
Umiling ako. "I need time to think about it." Simpleng sagot ko.
Umalis na silang lahat sa unit ko, alam kong alam nila na gusto ko munang mapag-isa ngayon at mag isip isip, dahil mag-isa na lang ako tulad noong hindi pa kami nagkikita ni Travis ay tinignan ko si Boo, another memory from Travis.
Nagbuntong-hininga ako at tumayo sa kama, bumaba ako sa hagdan ng floor ko at dumiretso sa unit ni Travis, hoping he was there but no. He was there no more.
Pinikit ko ang aking mga mata, right. Travis already left, he is already living on his mansion.
Pinihit ko ang busol ng dating unit niya, nanlaki ang mata ko dahil nakabukas pala ito. Pumasok ako at tinignan ang paligid, sa bawat corner ng unit niya ay naaalala ko si Travis, ramdam ko pa rin ang presensiya ni Travis sa unit dahil sa pamilyar na amoy niya.
Wala nang gamit ang silid, blangko na ito at walang kabuhay buhay, Travis really left me, huh?
I was about to get out when something caught my attention, may papel na nakadikit sa pader, agad ko itong kinuha at napagtantong isa itong letter at ang pamilyar na penmanship ay kay Travis.
Kai,
Walang kasiguraduhan kung mababasa mo ito, but I just want to tell you how much you mean to me. I just want to write my feelings for you hoping that if my voice won't reach you, then maybe this would.
I wanted to marry you, Kai. Even if just in my dreams, I wanted to. I waited for years to find you and I thought to myself when I finally saw you that you're the one and I won't let you go.
But things didn't go that way, maybe I wasn't meant to be your prince in shining armor. Maybe I wasn't really meant for you but even though, I wanted to be more than that. Not just as your prince but a lover as well. I love you, Kai. Mahal na mahal kita. I hope you feel the same. :)
I felt tears came out.
Stupid Travis!
I sniffed as I hug the letter, the last letter I received from him. I was about to return the letter to the envelop pero napansin ko na may iba pa palang laman ang envelop. Tinignan ko ito at nakitang mga pictures ko sila, mga stolen pictures ko na kuha ni Travis.
These were stolen special moments.
More tears came...
"Ang hilig mo talagang magpaiyak, Travis..."
