Ashes

Not Here Not Now

Casey

As I walked into the common room with my bag over my shoulder, I grabbed a piece of toast from the bench. "Casey," Boden said to me waking out, "Dawsons called in sick again." "Third shift in a row?" I asked. "Yeah, I haven't heard why. Maybe you should talk to Shay." "Yeah I will, thanks." I walked down to the bathroom and changed out, but I couldn't help thinking about what was wrong with Gabby. 3 shifts doesn't sound like much but with 24 hours on and then 48 hours off, three shifts adds up to a week of her being sick. I chucked my bag into my locker and then walked out onto the apparatus floor as Shay was walking in. "Hey Shay, Dawsons still living with you yeah?" "Yeah, has been for the past few months." "Is she okay?" I asked. "Yeah she's fine. Don't sweat it." I sighed, "gee thanks for the help." I sighed as we finished checking the equipment. "Breakfast is up," Mills called. Everyone started to file into the kitchen. I stopped Kelly and waited until everyone was gone. "What's up Casey?" He asked. "Listen, what's going on with Dawson? Shay is giving me nothing." "I don't know man, I guess she's just sick." "For a whole week?" I asked. "She's been vomiting and having dizzy spells for the past few weeks, but in the past week it's gotten worse." I sighed and rubbed my face, "she should be telling me this." "Should she be telling you because you're her lieutenant or because you guys care about each other?" "Both!" I said. "Well I don't know what to tell you man, she hasn't said much to me." "I'll go see her later." I said as we walked into the kitchen.

I sat down to eat whatever Mills had prepared for us this morning, he had been cooking while Gabby hadn't been here. It looked like some kind of oatmeal while fresh berries. Even as I ate I couldn't get my mind off Gabby. I mean, I know we aren't together anymore but we were just on a break. I was still expecting her to communicate with me how she was feeling. It is hard at work I guess. I have to treat her like every other candidate, so we don't have time for a private conversation that is unrelated to work. Once I was finished, and I saw that everyone around me also had I stood up. "81 grab your turn out gear, we are going for a ride."

Gabby

I rolled over to a knock at the door. Why do people need to come and bother me, it's probably one of those stupid sales people again trying to sell me more stuff like yesterday. I slowly got up and wrapped my robe around me before trudging down the stairs and to the front door. When I opened it, I was shocked. "Matt?" "Hey, can I come in?" "Yeah." I stepped aside and let him into the apartment. "Aren't you on shift?" "Yeah, I decided I should come see you." I really couldn't face him right now. I felt terrible, my stomach churning. Why did he have to come this early in the morning. "Did you want a drink?" I asked. "Waters fine," he replied. I walked into the kitchen and he followed. I poured two glasses of water and handed him his before taking a sip of my own. My head started to spin again- not here, not now. Not in front of him. He would know something is wrong. I leaned both my hands on the bench top trying to steady myself. "The guys said you haven't been well."

Casey

As I spoke, Gabby started to sway slightly. She leaned forward into the bench to try and support herself, but it was no use. I caught her just as she started to fall. "Hey hey hey easy," I said putting my arms around her and stopped her from falling. She was dazed, and so I picked her up and carried her over to the couch where I laid her down. I crouched down beside her and brushed the hair out of her face. "Are you going to tell me what's going on now?" She blinked a few times and then looks me in the eyes, "who am I taking to? My lieutenant or Matt?" "You're talking to Matt," I reassured her. Tears started to come to her eyes and she tried to brush them away with her hands. "Gabby whatever it is it's going to be okay. I promise." "You promise you won't be mad?" She asked. "Yes, yeah I do," I whispered squeezing her hands gently. "I'm pregnant."  The words didn't quite register in my head, "sorry what?" "I'm pregnant," she repeated, a tear slipping down her cheek.
Truck 81, ambulance 61. Car accident, 21st and Illinois.
I cringed as my radio went off, knowing I wouldn't be able to finish this conversation now. "I'll be back later okay?" I said kissing her head and standing up. "Okay," she whispered.