Because I Can't Lose You (a Stydia story){complete}

18. Mr Mistake

Stiles pov:
Lydia was currently taking a shower in the bathroom connecting to my room while I sat on the edge of my bed, only in my boxers. Did that really just happen? I rub my hands over my face before running my fingers through my hair.

"Holy shit." I mumble to myself, looking back at my slightly ruffled bed.
"Holy freaking shit." I whisper. The water from the bathroom stops and my eyes move from the floor to the bathroom door. Lydia emerges, shyly, from the steamy room, wet hair clinging to her skin, her clothes from today back on her body.

I awkwardly smile at her but her eyes stay to the ground as she sits next to me on the bed.
"It wasn't bad..." I mumble and Lydia shifts a little. My head snaps over to her as my eyes widen. "Oh my god, it wasn't bad, was it?" I ask.

Her gaze moves from the floor to a poster on the wall before she answers. "No." She seems unsure and I flop back on the bed, running my hands down my face.
"You hesitated." I sigh and Lydia turns towards me.
"Well, how am I supposed to know? I can't judge you against anyone else! It was awkward, yes, and kind of gross but... Isn't that what happens?" She asks.

I shrug, not knowing myself.
"I just had sex with my best friend." My voice shakes a little as I state the obvious.
"Please tell me you thought it felt kind of... Weird. Not just because we're friends but just doing it in general." She states looking down at her fingers and I sit back up.

This wasn't how I imagined this happening at all.
"You know sometimes people just don't... go good together." I say, fidgeting with my hands, standing and starting to pace.
"Well." She states, deadpan and I look up from the floor, waiting for her to continue.
" 'well' what?" I ask.
"It's well, not good." She corrects me.

"So do we just pretend that things are normal now?" I sigh, slightly terrified at what she might say. I can't believe we just.... I mean Lydia's been my best friend since elementary school and although I've had a crush on her the whole time, I never wanted it to happen like this.

"I guess so." Lydia whispers. She stands from the bed, not daring to look back at it while making her way over to me. Her arms wrap around me, her face pressed into my chest as she gives me a tight hug. "I'll see you Monday." Her voice is muffled. My heart shatters, my stomach ties into a knot as she releases me, shuffling out of my room.

I sit back on the edge of my bed, running a hand through my hair. This was my chance. This was another opening for me to tell her I love her. I quickly stand, running out of my room and stopping at the top of the staircase while she reached the bottom.

"Lydia, I-" she stops, turning around to face me and I swallow dryly. "I'm sorry." Is all I can manage. Not I love you or I've been in love with you. "I'm so sorry." My voice cracks. Her eyes meet the floor as she continues to walk away. There's the faint sound of the front door opening and closing and I know she's gone.

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The next day: Saturday.
"Stiles?" There's a knock on my bedroom door before my dad enters, causing me to burrow farther into my covers. He enters, cautiously, taking a seat in my desk chair. "It's two o'clock. You're still in bed." He says and I sigh.

"Teenagers sleep, it's a part of puberty or something like that." I mutter, pulling my comforter up to my chin.
"You haven't eaten all day." Dad states, "I'm worried about you." His voice softens. I feel bad for making him worry but this wasn't exactly an issue I wanted to tell him about.

"I'm fine. I promise, just feeling a little sick." I lie. The sheriff stands, ruffling my hair with his hand before leaving my room. My eyes flutter closed and I take in a shuttered breath. I ruin everything. I was just a ruin-er and I should've told her but...I don't even have an excuse.

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Sunday

I hadn't eaten all day yesterday, let alone left my room. I barely even slept last night. I think I even shocked Allison and my father this morning when I came downstairs for a glass of orange juice. They both stared at me, frozen in place as if when they moved, they may scare me off. I took a long swig of my juice, gulping down the whole glass before pouring another, glancing between the two.

"You're acting like you've never seen me before." I say. Allison's mouth is slightly ajar and she shares a look between Dad before turning back to making her breakfast.
"Why aren't you at work?" I ask Dad, sitting at one of the bar stools to the kitchen counter.

He clears his throat. "I got the day off." I can tell he's lying and I down my second glass of juice.
"You didn't have to stay home because of me. I'm okay." I circle the rim of my glass with the top of my finger. My dad lets out a sigh, patting me lightly on the back before going to the living and sitting on the couch.

As soon as he's out of the kitchen, Allison turns to me, leaning her elbows on the counter and grabbing me by the neck of my shirt so I can hear her whispers.
"You're scaring him." She warns, still holding my shirt.
"I'm. Fine." I emphasize, releasing her grip on me. I was lying to them and normally I would feel bad about it but I was too upset.

Allison huffs, her waffles popping out of the top of the toaster and my stomach growls. Okay, maybe I was a little hungry. She rolls her eyes, smearing peanut butter across the top of both waffles before handing me one. I thank her, greedily taking a bite.

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Authors note:
Things are going to get better soon, I promise.
But have you ever tried peanut butter on waffles?????? It's SO GOOD....now I want some...brb.
Comment, read, eat peanut butter waffles!
-Chloe