Because I Can't Lose You (a Stydia story){complete}

19. Quad C'est

Recently falling in love with Stromae😍 {big merci to my French teacher!} This song doesn't necessarily go with the chapter though, I just really like it. Moules Frites is my favorite by him but I couldn't find it to attach it to this chapter😕
Stiles pov, Monday:

Yes. I was very nervous with seeing Lydia. It was like I'd died on Saturday, started recovering on Sunday, and today I would be shot and start to die again.

My breath hitches as I already see Lydia in her spot, writing something down in her notebook. Allison giddily makes her way to the group of desks, pecking Scott on the lips before sitting down. I take a deep breath before taking my place next to Lydia. We glance at each other and she smiles slightly so I smile back before our eyes return to our own desks.

"Hi." Her voice is light and airy before she returns to her writing.
"Hey." I mumble, getting out my things for English. Almost as if they have the same mind, Scott and Allison throw us funny looks.

"What's with you two?" My sister asks.
I shrug. "Nothing. Why?"
"You're acting funny. Both of you silent, barely acknowledging each other. It's creepy." Allison shutters and I shrug again.

We weren't going to tell anyone about our v-card swiping bone-athon. Why would we? It meant nothing and was only a way of us making sure the other didn't get hurt. Even though, I'd wished it was something more and I definitely did get hurt.

Ms. Blake walks in, a minute late as usual, taking a marker and writing largely on the white board: essays due tomorrow. The class groans in response and she shushes us, saying she'll give us the class to work on them.

I was just going to copy my rough draft in neater hand writing so I didn't even bother doing anything. The rest of English was silent as students wrote their final essays while I silently thought about Lydia. She didn't seem to notice that I would glance at her until eventually if spend a full minute or two just staring at her. And once the bell finally rang, real easing us from hell, she bolted out of the room.

My other classes seemed minutes long until eventually it was lunch but as soon as I thought of seeing Lydia again, my hunger went away. Like always, the three were already sitting down, talking and smiling but as I walk up, Lydia seems to get more silent. I take my usual spot next to her and Allison and Scott stand while I get comfortable.

"W-where are you going?" I stutter. They don't say anything, just walk off, hand in hand. "Allison!" I call but she ignores me, and I glance at Lydia.
"They want us to solve our 'problems'" she explains, picking at her food and my eyes widen.
"They know?" I ask and she frantically shakes her head causing me to sigh in relief.

There's an awkward silence before I open my big mouth again.
"How's Aiden?" I ask, cringing slightly at how stupid I sounded.
"I wouldn't know. I haven't talked to him since-" we glance at each other, our eyes locking before we look away. The tension was almost tangible, there was so much of it. We stay silent until Allison and Scott come back to the table and Lydia explains that we worked everything out.

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I bolt up to my room as soon as Allison and I get home. Like Saturday, I crawled under my comforter, submerging myself in the fabric as I slowly drift into sleep. Truth was, I couldn't handle seeing Lydia today. It's like we weren't even friends anymore. Like we barely knew each other.

I wake up an hour later to a light knock on my door and before I can say anything, it opens, Allison sticking her head through cautiously.

"Hi..." Her voice is soft.
"Hey." I respond. She takes this as an invitation to slowly step in my room. I sit up, criss-cross, and Allison does the same across from me.

"Are you okay?" Allison asks in all seriousness. And I break. I immediately break trying my best not to tear up.
"I can't. I can't do this anymore. I can't love her knowing she'll never love me back. My heart is broken I can't eat, can't sleep, can't think, I can't even breath." I complain.

Allison scoots closer to me, wrapping me in a side hug.
I clear my throat, a single tear falling down my cheek as I say the next sentence. "We had sex." I whimper and Allison pulls away, looking me in the eyes. She wipes the tear off my face.
"When? Why?" She questions and I stare down at my lap.

"Friday....I dropped her off at her house telling her I was glad she didn't do it with a douche like Aiden. But she drove back over here in her car... Told me I was right. That she should lose her virginity to someone who cares for her. Little did she know I do more than care for her. I freaking love her. And it hurts, Allison. It hurts like hell." I'm crying now through my words, rocking slightly back and forth. Allison grabs my face between her hands, wiping away tears with her thumbs.

"Better a broken heart than a broken neck." She laughs and I do too but the sorrow soon returns. I lean back into Allison, my face pressed into the crook of her neck and in this moment, I not only missed Lydia. I missed my mother. I missed the fact that she would never be here, where Allison was now, to fix my broken hearts or tell me how to deal with it.

After Allison left my room, I fell asleep. But not a normal straight forward sleep. This was the type of sleep where you woke up every two minutes until it was time to go to school. I solemnly got up, putting on fresh clothes before going to wait in the car for Allison. We don't say anything on the ride over until we reach the school and she tells me to have a good day before hopping out of the car.

So now I was at my locker, contemplating whether or not to fake my death, when Lydia walks up to me. I close my locker, her prescience startling me.
"Hi." She looks me straight in the eyes and I gulp. "I need to tell you something."

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Authors note:
So things are gonna get really good and then towards the end it'll get a little sad. But of course I can't tell you details except for I like to write funny/awkward/happy chapters.
Comment, read, enjoy!
-Chloe