My Cowboy

A-J-Okay, Sadie

I constantly grow closer to Berkeley and farther from Ryder. It's now Thursday, October 5th. It's the day before homecoming. I know I should be with Ryder, but my heart's just not in it. A little recap of what you missed: Tuesday after my nap I passed my permit test and took driving lessons. Wednesday I stayed in my room and texted Berkeley all night. Ryder tried getting ahold of me all night but I haven't spoken to him since Tuesday.

"Hey there, gorgeous."

"Hey Berkeley," I responded. "I have a question for you."

"What is it?" He asked.

"I can't stop thinking about the guy I met in the courtyard. He told me something I just don't believe. Do you happen to know how I can figure out who this guy was?" I perplexed him.

"Yeah. That's probably Ronnie Knight. He's always hanging in the courtyard. Was he a tall, brown-haired guy with grey eyes?" He asked.

"I didn't notice his eyes. Are they really grey?" I asked and he nodded.

"It's pretty cool. I'll point him out when we walk past. I think his locker is over here." He led me around the corner.

"That's him!" I pointed and screamed louder than I wanted to, causing people to stare.

"Yep. Ronnie. What did he tell you? If you don't mind me asking."

"Sorry, Berkeley, I don't want to talk about it." I uncomfortably stated shifting my weight.

He bowed his head in remorse.

"It's okay. I understand." He responded. "I'll catch you later." He caressed my face and kissed my cheek.

Ugh, only a few more class periods and I can go home. I've been avoiding Ryder like the plague. Homecoming is going to be so awkward if I don't start talking to him. I started towards his locker.

"Ryder. Hey." I plainly said.

"Thought you weren't talking to me." He answered. "You've been avoiding me at all costs."

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I just need to figure things out."

I began crying on cue to demonstrate my sorrow. It has to be believable.

"I'm sorry, Doll. I've been smothering you. Hey, please stop crying." He smoothly noted as he lightly swept my tears away. "If you don't like me, it's okay. If you wanna be with another guy then be with him, but like you said homecoming is mine." He winked at me then he pulled me into an embrace and rested his chin on the top of my head.

I don't know what to do. I really like Ryder in a 'you're-my-best-friend-slash-soulmate' type of way. I really like Berkeley in a 'you're-husband-material-father-of-my-children' type of way. Ryder annoys the fuck out of me, but I crave it. Berkeley is sometimes too nice. I know so much about Ryder even though I've only known him for a short time. I still know next to nothing about Berkeley except he's a city boy. He's the type of guy I would have dated in New York. He's like Kota.

Once classes were over, I returned home via school bus. Ryder waited for me again.

"I have plans tonight, so no," I stated.

"I didn't even say anything," He defended, "but how did you know I was gonna ask you something? I wanted to know if you'd go riding with me, but I guess not. Have fun with your plans." He sassily responded, heading inside his house.