Was it Worth it?

Lowkey

I decided that I would still stay to my self but I wanted to go to this event at another school. I didn't tell anyone that I was going. I got there early and sat in the hallway outside the room reading on my iPad. They let us in and we signed in then I took a seat. At the time I didn't see anyone that I knew and I was relieved.

It was a spoken word event entitled Letters to My X. 20 minutes later my name was called. I got up and went up there.

"I'm Sasi and I will be doing  a poem by Jasmine Man. I changed some parts of the poem to fit me"

Dear Ex Lover,

I promise I'll stop chasing your memory in my dreams

I'll stop bringing your name up over cups of tea, muffins, and loneliness

I will marry a man and I will lay my heart on his chest like red roses on mahogany caskets

and I'll have his daughter and she'll have eyes reminding me that God still believes in second chances

And if she ever decided to date a women, I will love bravery down her spine

I will be reminded of all the times that we loved, like there were expiration dates tattooed on our inner thighs

If she every comes home with eyelids like cracking Levis and bruised kneecaps and a heart filled with question marks

I will hold her like my mother never held me

I will clasp her face in my palms like the new testament on judgement day

I'll tell her that love is the passion that allows you to do the right thing

and that no man can play coaster to a half empty heart

And if she ever feels as if she is alone as is she is not a hand me down  fabric pulled out of the depths of

mommy closet

I'll remember your name and I'll mumble it under my breath and if she asks me what  did I said;

I'll tell her I know what it's like to drag a woman out of a cold war

and then being too worn to clean up the battlefield it has made of you. I'll tell her that your

heart sound like gun shells tripping over battered cement.

I'll tell her that I know what it's like just to want someone to remember you

and that some women are as foul as expired milk in produce isles

and that apologies are like oxygen masks on a hijacked plane

Forgive yourself before you ever forgive the person sitting next to you

I'll tell her to never regret loving in permanent ink and that scars only give you stretch marks,

Something to gossip about