Was it Worth it?

BackTrack

After the quick massage with Nyla, I went to meet up with Q's real dad at dinner. I honestly didn't want to be here with him but I was thinking about Q's future.

"So no one knows where she went?" Lamar asked me

"No she left on my day and wrote me a note and gave me custody of Q"

"So how do you feel about shared custody?"

"First thing first. You really have not been in the picture. I don't think it is so smart to start you out with shared custody or any custody at that. Who knows how long you are going to stay around this time"

"Come on he is my son. Looks just like me so let's put how you don't like me aside and let me see my son"

"I never said I didn't like you or that I do. I'm thinking about my child future and how having a "parent" come in and out the future will shape my child life. As of right now Q has a mother and a father who he lives with under the same roof. When she left my now ex took it upon himself to help me raise Q."

"Wait so you have another man raising my child. Who else is helping you out with him?"

"My  ex, his family, Syn mother and family, and my family."

"I know it is too late but I'm ready to step in and help with my son. Here is some money to help with everything that you may have spent and for now. I already have set up a saving account for him" Lamar said as he handed me a duffel bag

"I honestly don't want your drug money but you can give me a cashier check if you want"

"Oh so you too good now to take drug money Sassi?"

"Excuse me I have never taken drug money. I don't need it nor do I want it. My children are well taken care of" I got up and pushed in my chair.

I walked out with a smile on my face.

I did the silent drive home and made it home in no time.

I stayed in the car for a while and I had sent Nyla  a voice note with everything that had happened.

I got my things and walked in the home. it was going on midnight and the lights were off. I walked upstairs and put my things down in my room. I took off my shoes and went and checked the kids room. Neither one of them were in there. I walked to Ray room and opened the door a little more.

I found Ray laid out in the bed with Jaze laying on his chest and Q laying next to him. I walked over to them and took a picture. They looked like they all belonged there. I smiled to myself. I kissed both of them and picked up Q and took him to his room. I then picked up Jaze and put her in her bed and came back to clean up the mess that they all made.

"You can leave it and come lay next to me and give me a kiss since you skipped me earlier"

"You are a creep and nope because you aren't going to do it later"

I went and turned on the main light and Ray sat up and watched me

"You look good. Where did you go tonight"

"Thanks I guess. Massages with Nyla and then went to dinner with someone that is not important"

Ray patted the sit next to him.

"Come sit and tell me all about it"

I stopped cleaning and sat down next to him

I ended up telling him what happened with Lamar

"So what are we going to do. You know him do you want him around Q"

"I'm not sure. Like they fought and he went MIA. Q is now about 4 and he wants to come back in the picture. We were there when he was born and he wasn't around. Now he wants to come back around. I mean he can see Q but he isn't getting custody of my baby"

"Aye he is our baby him and Jaze. But I'm with it. I do want Q to know about his other family. But if he dad can't get it together now I don't want my son being confused and messed up"

"Yea that's why he can come and visit and we cans ee how things are. It's just that he is a drug dealer and I don't want my kids being in harms ways. "

"You know my past isn't good and neither is Riz or my dad. Now that we don't need for anything and we have set up other businesses we don't need to go back. Safety of my kids come first and I know first hand of how dangerous it can get. So I understand the safety aspect but he needs to know that I'm not playing with my children. Being in Q life means keeping his personal and business life separated. But let me see the photo you took of us"

"Oh so you really wasn't asleep" I handed Ray my phone and walked out the room

I came back in a few minutes later, I grabbed my phone and kissed him on the cheek. I'm going to shower and go to bed. Thanks for being a wonderful father to our kids"

"That's my job but I could be wonderful to you too if you would let me"

"Yea that's not happening and Goodnight Ray" I said as I walked out his room

I was ready to move on and see where our relationship would go but with Lamar coming back around. I just hope my life wouldn't backtrack. I didn't want anymore negative people coming back into my life.