Meeting Luke in 27 Days

Chapter 24: Rain in a Starry Night

"The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've found each other. And maybe each time, we've been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come."  -Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

***  

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop but I heard it all." A familiar voice said from behind me, I instantly stiffened when I heard that very familiar voice, the voice I will never forget.

"Come, take a seat Luke. I think we need to talk after you've heard everything right?" I told him.

"Yeah." He agreed then I heard him walk closer to me. "I'm sorry, I vanished just like that."

I smiled bitterly from what I heard from him. "Apologizing again?"

"Yes." He answered. "I know that you want to know everything that happened after that night 7 years ago right?" He gave me a sad smile.

"I guess I deserve it." I replied timidly.

He rested at the back rest of his seat and looked up at the stars. "You became even more beautiful from the last time I saw you." He told me as he look at the stars. "My first year in the US had been hard, though my grandfather is supporting me financially, living alone in a place where you are a complete stranger is hard. I decided not to contact you in some months since I am thinking that I have to be strong and if I contact you that time, I'll miss you even more and decide to come back." He paused. "I was wrong, I should have contacted you." He sighed.

"What happened, Luke?" I asked?

"I broke my promise, that's what happened." He smiled bitterly as he glanced at me. "After six months of living there alone, I met someone, a girl." He sighed.

Telling me that he met someone just some months of leaving me broke my heart. How could he forget me after just some months? How could he forgot that he made a promise that he'll come back for me?

"She's just like you, innocent, sweet, everything. It made me feel like you were with me that time, just in a different body. She made me happy Amethyst, she fill up the empty space in me when I was alone. Until finally, she made me forget about you, that's what I thought." Again, a bitter smile crept into my face and a tears were forcing my eyes to let go of them.

"Fuck." I muttered.

"Yes, that's how fuck up is the guy you love until now." He paused as he looked at me, regret is visible in his eyes. "But after more than a year of being with her, I realized that she's not you and you're really the one who I love. I tried to broke up with her and told my grandfather that I have to come back here, grandpa was alright with that though he still wants me to continue my pre-med course. But Casey, that's her name, she threatened me that she'll kill herself if I leave her." Then he cupped his face using his both hands. "At first I didn't believe her but two days before my flight, her sister phoned me and told me that they are in the hospital, Casey attempted suicide and took too much sleeping pills. I didn't took my flight and I stayed with her and our child." He looked at me. 

"Child?" I asked hoping that I heard it wrong.

"Yes, she was pregnant that time and thank God that the doctor had been able to save both of them." He smiled genuinely. "My daughter, Emmie, is one of the best thing that happened to me aside from you."

This is too much information that I have to take. Too much, I can't take it all. He has a child, a wife. How could I even hold on to a promise that was made long time ago.

"We tried to live like a family since then while I was studying and working part time. And I graduated after some years, Emmie was two when I finished my pre-med course." He sighed again while still looking up the sky. "I had a job right after I graduated and one night after some months of working, I went home and the lights were off. I entered our house and called Casey and Emmie but noone is answering and when I opened our room, I saw Casey there, lying on our bed with pills and its bottle beside her. She succeeded that time when she took her life." Then a tear rolled down his cheeks. "We were in this rocky road ever since I came back for her, we both know that, we were just staying together for the sake of Emmie and for the sake of her life. She knew I do not love her, but I tried, I swear I tried."

"W-Where was Emmie that time when s-she took her life?" I asked, too scared to know that Casey killed their daughter as well.

"Casey dropped her to my grandmother, the morning when I left home for work." He gave me a sad smile. "After that eventful night, I tried to applied as a UN volunteer in Asia Pacific and I got accepted. I left Emmie with the care of my grandmother in US. Noone, even my family knew about my life in US during that time, of course except my grandparents. I've neglected Emmie, because of the guilt that I have. I do not know how to face her and tell her that her mother took her own life because..." His voice broke. "of me." He finished. "After three years, I finally decided that I have to face everyone that I left here and that I have to be a father for Emmie." Then he looked at me, "Two months ago, I came here with Emmie."He smiled. "I thought my family have been so angry at me but I was wrong, they were all happy to see me and told me that they knew that I am somewhere safe and my grandparents are taking care of me. They just had a big surprise of their life when they meet Emmie, but they love her." He stopped then looked at me. "Now, it's the time to face you."

My heart instantly beat so fast when he said that. He also came here to see me, just like me. He knew I am coming.

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting when I myself didn't even waited until I see you again. I know I've broke the promise that I am supposed to do." He said as he hold my hands. "Believe me that you were the only person that I loved all these years, until now, I do, I do love you but..."

But? I thought this would be it. I am willing to forget everything, every mistakes that he made. I just want him back. I'm ready for Emmie. I am ready to be with him. But, but?

"But Emmie is my priority, Amethyst. And I want to say goodbye to you properly. I will not ask you to wait anymore this time." He smiled at me sadly.

"Luke, you just said you love me?" I asked. "I-I can be the mother that Emmie needs. I do love you too, Luke." I said desperately. What the hell is he saying? This shouldn't be a goodbye right? What's the point of telling me that he still loves me when he's also saying goodbye?

He stood up and pulled me closer to him then hugged me, hold me tight as if he's really going to let me go some time. "Our meeting would have been different if only I became stronger." His voice is broke. "I didn't hold on to you the way you did and you deserve better. Amethyst, my love, my daughter needs me more." I can hear him crying softly now. 

Of course his daughter needs him. Of all people, he is the one who should be with her. "You know, I used to have a boyfriend and lasted years with him, but just like Casey, he knew that you're only the person who I love." I chuckled. "And even if you didn't asked me to wait 7 years ago, I would have still waited until this day comes. Maybe it's not still the right time for us now, or there will never be a right time for us but I am so happy that I have meet you again and I can hug you now. I will always choose you Luke." I choked because I am holding my tears. "If this is really a goodbye now, then I have to let you go. But I hope, I really hope that fate has it's way for both of us." I looked at his eyes. "I've always love you Luke." Then I gave him a peck on his lips for one last time and left him at the backyard.

Gene was in the backdoor holding a glass of water as if waiting for one of us to leave. "I'll have to go home now, Gene." I smiled at her. 

"Let's go home?" Then she offered her hand for me to hold. I hold my bestfriend's hand and we left Jordine's house together.

~End~
ohempearls | 29OCT2015