Don't Tell Nash

he's back

~Rachel's Pov~

Everything went silent as the door opened and my heart started to beat faster.  It was as if it was a miracle I kept asking myself how he got here.

"Well are you guys all just going to stand there and stare at me or are you gonna give me a hug??!" Hayes laughed at us because we were just staring at him.

"Hayes how did you get here how did your Sargent let you come back home!?" I said not being able to stop smiling.

"Yeah about that." he said shifting his eyes to the wall.  "hey this is a nice painting when did u guys get this one!?" he asked changing the subject.

"Hayes that has been there ever since we were 3 we got that from aunt rose for our birthday... it is us when we went to florida" I said with a tone that basically meant "why are you so stupid"

"oh yeahhh." he replied.

"Yeah now tell us why you are here.  Not that we arnt happy to see you but why are you here?" I asked.

"I kinda quit." he said

"what do u mean?" Nash asked.

"I mean it was to much to handle and I was going to be away for 4 years without seeing any of you." He answered

"FOUR YEARS!!?" I yelled.

"yeah" he said in a faint voice.

"FOUR YEARS AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!??!" I yelled again.

"maybe" he said again in a faint voice.

"YOU WERE GOING TO LEAVE ME FOR FOUR YEARS AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO TELL ME YOU WERE GOING TO BE GONE THAT LONG!!?"

"But i didn't stay away that long! I came back," he said " I got a feeling that I couldn't go that long without you guys!" he raised his voice.

"BUT THATS THE POINT HAYES IF YOU DIDN'T GET THAT FEELING YOU WOULD HAVE LEFT ME FOR FOUR YEARS WITHOUT ME BEING ABLE TO SEE YOU!"I just kept yelling at him. " DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT I WOULD HAVE BEEN THERE FOR THOSE LAST 2 YEARS WONDERING IF YOU WERE OKAY OR IF YOU GOT HURT!!  I ALREADY WORRY ABOUT YOU ENOUGH EVERY DAY!  I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY, I PRAY FOR YOU EVERYDAY,  I CRY EVERYDAY BECAUSE I THINK YOU ARE GOING TO GET HURT AND THOSE 2 EXTRA YEARS OF NOT KNOWING WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU AND WHY YOU WEREN'T HOME WOULD HAVE BEEN HELL FOR ME!! I yelled at him and he just stared at me as if he was a brick wall... he stood there and stared at me.

I ran out the door got in the car and drove.  I ended up back at the park that I went to with Aaron.  Tears dripped down my face. My phone started to ring and it was Aaron I declined the call and just sat there on a bench that me and hayes used to play on all the time.  Aaron called again and I declined again.  I heard footsteps coming towards me and I didn't bother looking up.

"Are you okay." It was Hayes' voice and I squeezed my eyes shut trying to keep the tears from coming out. I was as silent as the ocean but my heart was beating as loud as the scream that was built up inside of me... I just wanted to cry... I just wanted to be alone... I just wanted a hug from someone... I just wanted Hayes to go back home and leave me... I just wanted to act like I was strong for once... I just wanted it to roll of my shoulders... this would be the very first time I ever wanted someone to be erased from my life... the first time I felt hate for my twin Hayes Grier...

"no." I said angry. It was as if god turned off the hose that held my tears.

"I'm sorry." he said to me.

"okay." I replied.

"Please don't do this... I love you a lot, I would never do anything to hurt you, please forgive me?" he asked

"no." I repeated myself.

"Please Rachel don't do this not now. I left the base to be with you so that I didn't have to deal with the guilt of being away from you for so long and not telling you... Please forgive me... Im sorry."

"i know." I said i could feel the tears building up again but I didn't let them fall.

"what can i do to make this better!!?"

"nothing." I said. I got up and walked away from him going over to mine and Aarons tree I could hear Hayes crying behind me and this would be when I let the tears roll on my cheeks.

I stayed at the tree for what seemed to be an hour, I could hear footsteps and I pulled my feet up. Tears were building up when I saw everyone by the tree. Hayes put his hand on the tree reading the note. He slowly smiled and a single tear rolled down his cheek. I looked up at the stars just so I didn't feel so bad.

"She has to be somewhere around here her car was in the parking lot." Aaron said with a sense of worry in his voice.

"don't worry we will find her." Shawn said bringing him into a hug.

"but thats the thing what if we don't!?" nobody answered him.

"lets go check by the water." Matt said. When they left i bolted to the water because I felt so bad, I somehow managed to get there before them (probably because I took a shortcut that pretty much only I know about) I could hear them getting closer and everytime I heard their feet I could feel another tear rolling down my cheek.

"I think I see her!" Aaron yelled running over to me.

"Baboom Baboom" my heart was like a lion roaring as loud as it could. He went in front of me and slowly squatted down. A single tear rolled down his cheek and he kissed me. I kissed him back and hugged him I started to cry and I could feel him motion for them to leave. When they were gone he asked me if I was okay.

"Yeah" I said. He gave me a look and I started to cry more.

"I want to be okay!!" I yelled

"I know." he said in a whisper. He rubbed my back in a circular motion and I slowly calmed down.

"Lets go home." I said.

He nodded into my shoulder and grabbed the keys out of my back pocket.

"Im sorry." he said.

"For what?" I asked.

"that he didn't tell you, but if it makes you feel any better he didn't tell any of us."

"we tell each other everything and for him not to tell me something like that really hurts." I said.

"I think thats the thing though I don't think he meant to hurt you, I am pretty sure he was trying to make it easier for you to let him go, so you didn't try and talk him out of it." he replied.

"Well his plan didn't seem to work now did it because I got hurt anyways." I said, angry.