Don't Tell Nash

hate is a strong word

~Cameron's Pov~

I was sitting in the chair next to Rachel's hospital bed twiddling my fingers. I couldn't wait for her to wake up I needed to know what she was going to say to Nash. I know it couldn't have been anything good because of what she said before. Her eyes started to open and she was saying something I could barely make it out but I did. "Nash thanks for being the biggest asshole of a brother a girl could have nightmares about," she then screamed something I know that if Nash herd he would be crushed. "I HATE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE!" She screamed. I looked at her with wide eyes and started to cry. I love Nash so much and I love Rachel so much too and I know how hard it will be for her to tell him and for him to hear it.

I fell asleep thinking, and the nurse came in. I didn't open my eyes hoping she would go away. She said we were a cute couple and left. When she left I got up and kissed Rachel's forehead she opened one of her eyes and said "I was hoping you would wake up some time soon, I've been awake for an hour."

"Why didn't you wake me up?" I asked

"Because you look so cute when you sleep!" She laughed, and I laughed with her. I gave her a serious look and she asked what was wrong "I need to talk to you about something." I said

"What is it?"

"It's about Nash."

"She looked at her wrists and held them, I could tell they were burning because I know how it feels I used to cut and nobody really knows about it except for me. Mainly because I didn't tell anyone, but anyways back to Rachel.

"When you woke up the first time you weren't exactly fully awake and you said some pretty hurtful things about Nash."

"Yeah and?"

"Well I didn't know if you remembered what you said or if you remembered even saying anything."

"I remember what I said, and yes I meant it."

"Well I was wondering if you wanted to tell Nash or if you were going to have made me tell him what you said."

"No that's okay I'll tell him." She said softly.

"I love yowhen... you make that voice." I tried covering up the whole I love you part, I don't think it worked.

"You mean my normal voice?" She asked confused, I think I might be in the clear. When I say I love her I want it to be magical. I don't want her to expect it but there is one thing I do want. I want her to say "I love you too!" and then kiss me.

~3 hours later~
~Rachel's Pov~

I just got out of the hospital and I went to lay down. Cameron looked at me and sighed.

"You know you have to tell him right?" He asked.

"Yeah I know just not right now." I said.

"Alright." He said and left

The truth is I really don't know if I should tell him just because I know his reaction is going to be... well horrible. I am so mad at Nash I didn't do anything and he made a big deal over nothing. I went to sleep for about 30 minutes and when I woke up Nash and Hayes were there but Hayes was way on the other side of the room from Nash, and giving him a look. I knew that Hayes was going to be mad at Nash I wouldn't be surprised if all the guys were. I looked Nash in the eyes without saying anything for a really long time. I could tell that I had an expression of disappointment on my face, and I could tell that Nash was being hurt by it. I asked Hayes to leave and when he did I looked at Nash for a while again.

"I was trying to say something, before I fell asleep." I said

He got a worried look on his face

"I know." He said

"I, I just can't even believe what you did..." I said

"I know. I was lost I guess, hurt. I took it out on you and the truth is I don't even know what it is I was taking out on you. I felt alone, forgotten, and just horrible. What you said hurt, and I don't know why. What I did was wrong and I know that, and I'm sorry I'm really really sorry." He cried

I was getting second thoughts about telling him what I said and I know I didn't mean it but he still deserves to know. I don't know if I can tell him. But I have to so I will.

"Listen Nash I didn't mean what I said, and I know it's horrible but I know that you deserve to know even if it really hurts our relationship," I looked down at my hands. "Thanks for being the biggest asshole of a brother a girl could have nightmares about, I hate you more then you can imagine..." I sighed "Thats what I was trying to say." I said

He made a confused look, and shook his head. Then he looked at me and scrunched up his eyebrows. Tears started to drip down his cheeks, and he left.

My eyes started to water and I tried to go after him but Cameron wouldn't let me, and I started crying harder and harder. I cried myself to sleep and when I woke up I went to get my blade but it was gone, so we're all the knifes. I sat on the bed and cried. Cameron woke up and hugged me from behind. "Dont be afraid, they feed on fear, the monsters in your head. It's their favorite meal. Don't stop being yourself and eventually you'll make it through. It's okay to deal with something difficult because difficulty makes strength." He whispered in my ear and I started to calm down. I laid back down and slowly fell asleep.