Alone H.S.

Chapter 28: Fear of Losing Her

Lily -

Do I take it? Or do I leave it?

Take it. Leave it. Take it. Leave it.

If I take it, my heat will be put off for another two months, and I won't have to worry about becoming pregnant or anything.

But would Harry want me to take it, or not take it? I would go into heat, and then there's the 95% chance of becoming pregnant after having sex during heat. So id be surprised if I don't become pregnant.

But am I ready for that? Is Harry ready for that?

"You just going to stare at them all day?" I jump and spin around to see Harry standing in the bathroom doorway watching me.

I glance at the suppressant pills on the sink countertop and then look back to Harry. Should I even ask him?

"I'm guessing those are suppressants?" He asks as he leans on the doorway. And looks incredibly sexy while doing so.

"Yeah." I hesitantly say.

He only nods slowly and sighs.

"I'm not going to pressure you into anything. It's completely your decision if you want to take those." Well, that sure made everything easier. Not.

He only turns and walks away, leaving me in the bathroom wondering if I should take them or not take them.

I pick up the pills and try to figure out what I want to do.

*********

Harry -

"...but that doesn't explain how...Harry? Hello?!" I look away from whatever I was staring at and look towards Louis's desk.

"Huh?"

"What's up with you today? You've been staring at a wall and you're not listening to what I've been saying." My whiny Beta complains.

"I'm listening now." I sigh, and try to focus on him, instead of letting my mind wander back to Lily.

"Yeah, for about 3 seconds. What's up with you anyway?"

"Lily."

"Oh." He says flatly, looking back down at the papers in front of him on his desk.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, anger lacing my words. What's his problem with Lily?

"I'm guessing that Lily's nearing her heat?"

"Yeah. What's that got to do with you?" Again, what's his problem?

"Eleanor's wanting pups." He sighs, running a hand through his hair. He hesitantly looks over at me and sighs loudly again.

"She said something about it the other night and with Lily going into heat...I don't know." I've never really thought about Eleanor being jealous of Lily before. But I guess now that's a real possibility.

"Louis, I don't even know if she is going into heat. This morning she had some suppressant pills, so she might just take those instead."

"Do you want her to?"

"No." I truthfully answer him. He smirks and gets up from his desk and walks over to mine.

"Did you tell her that?"

"No."

"And why not?"

I take a few minutes before answering. Why haven't I said anything about it to her?

"Because if she doesn't want to go into heat, that's her decision. If she wants pups that's her decision. If she decides to have pups then she's kind of stuck with me and I don't-"

"Jesus, Harry! You're mated, you're bonded, you've had s-e-x, okay? Is it not obvious that she wants to be with you? She's given up everything in her life to be with you and that girl loves you. Don't be worrying about her one day waking up and leaving because she doesn't like you. You love her, she loves you. Make pups, already!" Okay, it's definitely time for a new Beta.

"No. It's....I don't know if I'm..." I stutter with my words, unsure of how to even say what I'm feeling.

"Katy?"

The sound of her name almost sounds foreign to hear it out loud. I've said it, but hearing it come out of someone else's mouth just seems weird.

"It's been so long...I don't understand why I just can't let her go." I admit.

"You love Lily?" He asks, leaning on my desk.

"Yes. More than I ever loved Katy, which makes it so weird as to why I-"

"You're afraid." Louis interrupts me and I glare at him.

"Afraid?"

"Yes. You're afraid of loosing her. You're afraid of failing her. You're afraid you won't be good enough for her and that something will happen, something you cannot control, and you'll loose her." And this is the kind of reason that I haven't replaced him.

"Louis-"

"Daddy! I'm hurt!" Dylan's voice carries through the air and he appears by the side of my desk, holding up his hands.

"Where?" I ask, nearly in a panic. Dylan hurt?

"Here! I was tryin' to read a book, but I cutted my finger on the pages." He explains, holing up both his hands, causing me to have to search them both for a paper cut. Upon finding it, I see it's too tiny to really cause much pain at all. It's the illusion of pain he's feeling.

"Aw. Well....oh, God." I look away and towards the office door and Louis glances at the door before looking back to me.

"I'll take it she didn't take those suppressants?"

"No. No, she certainly did not."