Alone H.S.

Chapter 44: Talk To Me, Dammit

Harry -

Louis's words repeated in my head over and over and over. Those words kept me from my sleep, as if I needed help with that.

Days had passed and I still hadn't spoken to Lily about my dreams or my fear of loosing her. I still felt like I need to be strong for her, not telling her that I'm afraid.

But it's impossible to not see the distance between me and Lily growing. We don't speak like we used to, and our time alone with each other isn't intimate like it was.

It's not that Lily isn't beautiful. Every day she looks more beautiful than the next, everything about her now drives me crazy. Her eyes still a sparkling blue, her stomach stretching to accommodate our pups, and her...body parts for my eyes only are only getting better as well.

But I can't find it in me to be close with her when I feel like I don't deserve it. The old familiar feelings of failure and of never being enough hit me like a brick and I find myself putting more distance between us.

Most of my time has been spent either working in my office or trying to get information from Shiloh. I've been visiting her in prison, trying to get her to talk but she refuses to work with me.

Everything I do ends with a dead end, leading me nowhere, going round and round in circles.

The frustration gets taken out when I'm alone, either taking a run through the woods or going for a hunt.

But even those things are starting to fail me. I come home and snap at those who matter the most to me. Which only makes me feel worse and more angry with myself.

"Working late again?" I glance up from the papers spread across my desk and see Lily watching me from the doorway.

I only nod as a response, too tired to speak.

Refusing to actually speak to our mate, now? Bad decision.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm working late again." I tell her, deciding to listen to what my wolf says.

Lily walks closer, stopping once she's standing on the opposite side of my desk and rests her hands on the paper-covered surface.

"Want to tell me what's been keeping you so wrapped up in here all hours of the night?" She asks, her voice coming out smooth, sad, and a little broken.

"Just work." I lie, and state into her eyes.

She closes her eyes and let's out a sigh.

"Please...don't lie to me."

I lower my head and begin the inner debate of wether or not to tell her everything.

"Talk to me, dammit!"

I stand up from my chair, towering over Lily and looking down at her as she glares up at me. Anger clearly written across her face.

"Is it me? Do you not want me anymore? Was I just someone you wanted to use? Do I mean anything to you?"

The desk is suddenly pushed to the side and my arms are wrapped tightly around Lily, not too tight as to hurt her, but nearly there. Never wanting to let go.

"Don't you dare say that ever again." I whisper to her as she cries into my t-shirt.

"You mean everything to me. Listen to me." I pull her away slightly and tilt her chin up so out eyes meet.

"You are everything to me. Everything."

"Then why do you push me away?" She asks, tears escaping her blue eyes.

"Because I'm an idiot." Is all I can say.

To my surprise she shakes her head and steps closer to me.

"You are not an idiot. I don't understand why you always think that. But it's your turn to listen to me, Alpha. You are so much more than you think you are. You are an amazing leader, you are a wonderful father, a great friend, and my mate. You are my everything. But when you pull away from me time after time, I feel like I've lost you." She starts to cry even harder, so I just pull her close against me and try to calm her down.

"Hey...I'm not going anywhere. You couldn't loose me if you tried." She laughs through her tears and pulls away to look me in the eyes again.

"No more shutting me out. Ever. Deal?" She holds her small, delicate hand out and I can't help but smile at her.

"You're supposed to...to shake it." She stutters, nodding towards her hand which shakes slightly.

I reach my hand out and grab hers gently, pulling her back against me.

"Never again."

Lily snuggles against my chest and let's out a relieved sigh before I can hear her breath hitch.

"Harry?"

"What?"

"Give me your hand." Panic rushes through my brain, but I give her my hand and she presses it against her stomach and there's no denying the fluttering feeling that meets my palm.

"Feel it?" She asks, her eyes wide and her smile even wider.

"Yeah. Better stop eating so many butterflies." And I'm met with a smack to my arm.

"Harry! You know what that is!" She laughs.

"Who been eating butterflies?" Lily and I both look to the doorway where now, a pajama wearing little Dylan stands. Rubbing his eyes tiredly, and fighting back a yawn.

"No one has, baby. Your daddy's just joking around with me." Lily answers the curious boy.

"Daddy's just doing what with you?" And suddenly there's a Louis and an Eleanor standing in the doorway as well.

Damn Louis.

"Why don't we just invite the whole pack into the office at one in the morning?" I scoff, wondering why suddenly everyone is so curious and awake at this hour.

"That's a great idea! I'll go call everyone!" Louis disappears and Eleanor runs after him, and I just roll my eyes. He's kidding....right?

"Why'd daddy think you eated butterflies?" Dylan asks moving closer to Lily.

"Give me your hand." Dylan reaches out with his little hand and it's taken my Lily's own hand to rest on her stomach, but she bends down so he can reach better.

"Feel anything?" Lily asks. And Dylan nods.

"What is it?" Dylan's face contorts to one of disgust and he yanks his hand away, wiping it on his pants as if he's just touched something gross.

Which causes me to laugh out loud.

"Dylan, that's your baby sister." I tell him.

"Or brother." Lily says quickly, punching my arm again.

"Nope. I think she's a girl. Who's going to look as pretty as her mama." I tell Lily, as I move closer and closer to her, until I'm whispering in her ear and then resorting to kissing her neck.

"Harry...Dylan is right here." Lily whispers as my kisses travel down to her exposed collarbones. But I cease my movements when she says that and I turn around to see Dylan staring at me with his big green eyes.

"Daddy, can I have a bedtime story?" He says innocently, but I swear he had a glint of victory in his eyes.

You little cockblock.
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Hey, everyone!

So new chapter up! What do you guys think of it?

Everyone had been asking me when am I going to update my stories and I just want to tell everyone that I am working very hard on my stories right now. I'm just not publishing as much right now. But when I have the time to, I will be updating all my stories as much as possible!

So thanks for reading! And please tell me what you all think of this chapter!

Thank you!!! Love you all!!!