Alone H.S.

Chapter 52: I Hate You

Harry -

There is no maybe with this. There is only the decision to do or die. You fight. You fight for those you love and want to protect, regardless of your own safety.

No matter what we've gone through, I still have my family. I have Lily and I have Dylan, and they need to be safe and I will not back down when it comes to protecting them.

I just don't understand why Malik would declare war. Our packs have lived side by side, peacefully for decades. This is really the first war of my own that I've had to fight in, though I've been through so much training that I feel like it's my fifth or so.

Since I became Alpha, I had always made sure that the pack always had warriors prepared for war if the time should come.

And it has.

The entire set-up of the pack and the territory is built in case of a war. All the homes are situated in the center part of the territory, making it easier to defend. There are also many hidden forts and defense building scattered along the border of the territory.

"And we're prepared for war?" The elder asks, a trace of fear in his voice.

"We are. My father taught me to always be prepared even when there is no reason for a war. And I can say that I have followed that rule." I assure the old man who nods along with several of the other men sitting around the table.

"And I assume that you have tried to contact Alpha Malik?" Another elder asks.

"Why would we do that?" Louis asks from where he sits.

"To ask why he's declared war, of course. Maybe this whole business can be avoided if we can work around whatever problem he had with us." The elder explains.

"I haven't tried to make any contact with him. I honestly don't think that would be the wisest thing for me to try and do right now considering-" I try to say, but of course...

"Considering that you killed his messenger?" The elder interrupts and I let out a frustrated growl.

"I didn't mean for that to happen." I tell the elder and I leave the room.

I can't stay in the room, with everyone staring. I still can't believe what I did to that messenger.

Louis -

Harry storms out of the room, leaving me -as always- with the committee.

"Gentlemen, I believe that calls this meeting to a close. And I'm sure that no one meant to be rude, especially since everyone is very well aware of our Alpha'a recent tragedy." I leave the old, aggravating men to themselves while I walk out after Harry and find him just outside of the meeting building.

Why do I feel like this is now a regular thing?

"They're not really mad at you, they're scared." I tell my Alpha and start to walk home.

"I know. I still feel like I've made the whole situation worse because of...you know." I stop in my tracks and turn back around to face the younger man.

"Every single time something happens, I have to be here to make you feel better about yourself, don't I?"

"No-"

"Shut up and listen! You blame yourself for making this worse, you blame yourself for Lily's unhappiness, you blame yourself for..." I have to force myself to stop there.

"I don't blame myself for that." Harry mutters and pushes past me.

I wish there was something I could say to help him. Having gone though loosing mine and Eleanor's baby, I know what he's dealing with. And I also know that despite what he says, he does blame himself.

All I know is that time heals the pain of loosing a baby. You don't forget it, but you do get over it in a way. And no words I say to Harry can ease the pain that time takes to heal.

************

Lily -

Night comes and I climb into bed, waiting up for Harry. With the whole war thing, he doesn't come to bed until terribly late, staying up coming up with battle plans.

I've read through twelve chapters of my book I've started to read when the bedroom door opens and Harry walks in. He looks tired, very tired.

He doesn't speak, but just removes his jeans and t-shirt before climbing into bed.

I've been ignored before, I've been turned away by him, but it hurts so much more now than it did back then. We'd grown so close, and now it just seems like everything we'd overcome together has collapsed and we're falling apart.

I set my book down and sit up more, gripping the covers of the bed tightly, working up the courage to speak.

"I can't go on like this." My wolf whines and tells me to change my mind. But I cannot continue with the way we both are.

Harry's body tenses and he turns over before sitting up and running his hands through his hair.

"You want to leave?" He asks quietly.

"No. But I can't...things cannot go on like this between us. I feel like I'm alone." My voice breaks and I bite myself trying to keep from crying.

"I've hurt you, haven't I?"

"No! God! This isn't...I love you so much, but this is getting...you don't talk to me! I don't talk to you! We act like just because we lost her...that we lost what we had when it was just the two of us." Just mentioning her hurts. And Harry flinches when I do.

"I'm sorry." Is all he says.

"You're sorry? What...I don't understand. Why are you sorry?"

"You just said that-"

"I hate you!" I'm not even aware that I'm screaming the same sentence over and over until Harry's arms are tight around me and he's whispering in my ear for me to calm down.

"You don't have to cry, baby. I'm right here. I've got you." I wasn't even aware I was crying until he mentions it.

"Oh god, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that I hate you. I don't. I don't. I love you. I love you so much." I wrap my own arms around him and we sit there in the dark, holding onto one another and trying to work through everything.
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So, yeah there's an update.

Hope you enjoyed it. Some action will be coming up, but I want to tell you all that this story is starting to come to a close. Not terribly soon, but there's not all that much left to this one.

But the good news is that I will be starting up another story -after I finish this one- especially for all you guys. It will be more of a vampire type story with murders and possibly some fairly scary stuff, so there you've been warned.

If any of you will be interested in that story, I will put up the cover and prologue soon so that you can add it to your reading lists or libraries.

But anyway, I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter! Thanks for reading! Love you all!!