Finding Harley: Renegades MC Story

Chapter 13

Waking up with a headache from crying sucked.   But that didn't compared to the pain I felt of waking up alone.   Buried under Axel's thick comforter I not only knew I was alone but I was alone all night.  With a quick glance at the untouched couch confirmed Axel never even came back to his room.

Maybe hearing about my past and what I came from was too much for him.  In his head I was this innocent, naive woman, now that image is shattered.  Sure when it came to sex I had no clue what to do, but pain and death I was very familiar with.   Those things taint you, stay with you forever. 

They dirty you.

I guess now seeing that that part existed in me, I was no longer what he wanted.   Rubbing my chest I tried to ease the ache that settled there.   Hell I have survived worse, what was one more thing.  

After showering and getting ready, my growling stomach demanded food.   The club house was rather quiet this morning as I headed to the kitchen.   I guess everyone was asleep.  

Or not.

Mac sat at the kitchen counter nursing a cup of coffee as Tank bandaged up a pretty beaten up...Axel?

Not saying a word I proceeded to get my coffee and breakfast while three pairs of eyes tracked my every movement.    Leaning against the counter I watched Tank stitched up the large gash by the eye.   After tying off he moved on to the next wound.   And then the next.

After a few minutes I slammed my empty cup down causing everyone to jump.

"Does someone what to tell me why Axel looks like he got hit by a truck?"

Mac shifted his eyes to Tank, who then shifted his eyes to Axel.   The three remained silent before Mac started laughing. 

"Our mighty Prez here took on a few prospects last night." Tank said laughing.  The other two joined in.

So while I was crying myself to sleep only to be woken up by nightmares...he was fighting? And they thought it was funny? Well it was clear as day where his priorities lied.   Would it kill anyone to think about me for once!   Obviously not.  

"Would it have killed any of you to check on me?   To make sure I was okay?  Or were you too busy beating each other up? Fuck, I killed a man and although you may be used to doing something like that I wasn't!"    I don't know why I was acting like such a girl, this wasn't me.   But I was hurt when I woke up alone and then to find out he was fighting the boys instead of holding me while I fell apart.  

It shouldn't have matter, it wasn't like we were together or anything.   I had no claim on him and he had no responsibility towards me. 

When was I going to learn that I couldn't count on anyone but myself?  Hell how many more times was I going to put myself out there to only be rejected.   Fuming I stormed out of the kitchen and I made it as far as the picnic area in the back before he caught up to me.

"Dammit Harley will you fucking stop."

As much as I hated to, I listened.   But being partly hurt and partly stubborn, I refused to turn and face him.  

"After listening to everything...I was, well I was pissed.   You putting six bullets into Slash was not enough, I wanted to tear him apart limb from limb after listening to him.   You issued protection on your unc...father - so I couldn't touch him.   I needed to release my anger, the Prospects were my best option."

"So instead of it being about me...it was about you...Christ Axel, I killed a man last night, don't you think that warrants some attention?  Did you even think about how I was handling all of this? That my uncle is actually my father?"  My shoulders sagged, my body was so tired regardless that I just woke.  

For the first time in years being alone hurt.   It hurt worse now because I was surrounded by people who supposedly cared.

"Christ Harley, I made one mistake..."

Pissed I finally turned to face him.   "No asshole you didn't just make a mistake, you made a grave mistake.   Not three days ago you promised me that you would catch me when I fell.   Well guess what, last night I fell hard, and you weren't there.   So from now on fuck off and leave me the hell alone.   I was better off before I tried depending on people.   I am not stupid enough to leave, but stay the fuck out of my way.   Once Hunter is dead, I am out of here."

This time he didn't follow me as I stormed into the house. Only to have Mac stop me.

"Listen Harley..."

"I don't give a fuck Mac.   Just have the Prospects move my stuff to a spare room, one with a lock."

"Don't shut him out Harley."

"To late Mac.   Like I told him, once I don't need your help anymore I am gone.   I don't need this in my life, not one of you gave a shit about my wellbeing and that speaks volumes on where I stand in your lives.   I am heading down to talk to Cricket.   Figured you might want someone there to listen."

Without waiting for his response I walked out.

It didn't matter how much it hurt now, it would only get worse the more I let them in.   I needed to shut off that connection and focus on staying alive and taking down Hunter. 

I was tired of being the victim.