Finding Harley: Renegades MC Story

Epilouge

The waves continued to crash against the beach as the tide began to creep in. Seagulls fluttered around looking for one last meal before it was time to turn in. I loved this time of day when night slowly takes over and the sun begins to dip down into the water. There was nothing quite as majestic as watching the sun setting over the massive Pacific Ocean.

My blanket was far enough away from the water that I didn't have to worry about it getting soaked but was still close enough to enjoy the calming sounds of wave after wave cascading up the sand. The sounds of families packing up for the day could be heard in the distance as children giggled and cried. Smiling I watched as one by one the beach emptied. Other than myself, only the diehard surfers remained.

Looking out over the water, peace settled over me. Smiling, I realized how drastically my life had changed. For those who have never felt lost or unsettled in their own body, won't truly grasp the feeling when you finally find true peace and harmony. I finally found the real Harley.

This Harley was a stronger woman for the pain she suffered and I am thankful to come out on the other side. I can now see a future, what that holds I have no idea but one exists.  Don't get me wrong, my journey was not easy and not forgotten, just finally laid to rest.

Leaving the compound was one of the hardest things I have ever done. For the first time I realized I was not alone and had a family, not your stereotypical type of family, but a family none the less. Nix was right and I missed everyone terrible, especially Axel. So much that my once a week phone calls with Mac have dwindled as time went on. It hurt to hear how everyone was doing, so I avoided his calls, sending them directly to voicemail. It has been months since I last heard Mac's gruff voice and I missed it...hell I missed him.

And Axel. And it killed me to admit that. No matter how hard I tried I could not get him out of my system.   Trust I tried to forget him.

But leaving was a necessity to my wellbeing and I still stand by that. I had a lot of emotions to process and I knew I couldn't do it there. I needed to do this on my own, clean up my past before I could look towards the future. It just took a lot longer than I planned, with a lot more road blocks to get over.  

But the real question was why have I stayed away?

Nix was right, once I opened Pandora's Box, my world darkened as memories surfaced. I was safe for the first time in ten years, the pieces started to crumble.

I slept for the first several weeks, then depression set in.   After wallowing in self-pity and despair for several months, things got worse...way worse. I hit rock bottom with the help of alcohol.   A knight in shining armor saved me from depart and got me the help I needed.

Rehab and therapy. 

Are a few months my nightmares faded and my crying stopped. All the pain and pent up feelings I kept locked inside had been released into the world and my soul finally felt...lighter, even free.

It was time that I took control again, promising never to return to this depression again. Leaving the rehab, I packed up and headed out and began to rebuild my life. It was amazing what fresh ocean air can do for the mind, body and soul.

At first I was terrified but then I start d little by little going out and doing something.  My days were filled with trying local cuisine, shopping, running on the beach and basically living like a normal person.

for the first time in my life I didn't have to look over my shoulder in constant worry and it was...liberating! I was exhilarated to finally be out of the shadows of the world and to have the freedom to explore anything I wanted to.