The Darkest Pleasures

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

­-15 Days Later

Darkness was all that entered my eyes at the moment. I couldn’t see anything in front of me other than a dark silhouette of what I believed was a figure of a woman. I wasn’t fully sure on who it was. However a part of me had a feeling that it was her. Then there was a part of me that had a feeling that we were in that alley again. All where it felt like it actually started to end.  Being here in this alley again felt like home. It’s an odd thing to picture as home, but where ever Hazel is, that’s where home is in my heart.  

I could see the darker shadow of the women slowly approach me. It was almost like time was standings still at the pace she was coming towards me. Deep down it felt like hours but it was only a matter of moments when she was right in front of me. She was so close, basically to the point where I could feel her warm breath against my tender skin. Her breath was a mix of cigarettes and coffee. Typically a bad combination of smells, but to me it felt right. That was because it was a breath that I was used to. It was her breath I tasted whenever we kissed. It was something I was eager to taste again.

The closer she leaned into me the more goose bumps that protruded on my skin. Her hands brushed up against my arms, causing all the hair on my arms to rise. Then there was her lips touching the nape of my neck. I knew it felt right and that it was something that I was desperate to have back. But it didn't feel real. It felt very distant.

She could feel me tense up, which made her pull away and look me in the eyes. It was weird because at first everything was dark, but now at this moment it was light out. The sight that was around the both of us showed that we were definitely in the alley again. However this time there was no me beating up myself or Hazel crying. There was just Hazel and I, nothing more and nothing less.

The more she gazed in my eye the more I noticed the different shades green, brown and blue in her eyes. Yet, these eyes looked warm and inviting at a first glance were dark and cold. Like a darkness and disparity surrounded them. Something I was accustomed with Hazel.

"Hazel what are you doing?" I asked

“Nothing." She said while between kisses on my neck.

"Is this real? Or is it just a dream again?" I asked pulling away from her touch. Something I wish I didn't have to do.

I stared blankly in her eyes waiting for her response, but it felt like she wasn’t going to give one. That was until she slapped me across the face.

I gave her a remorseful look after the action she just did to my face.

“What was that for?” I said rubbing my hand over my jaw where she just had smacked.

"Harry nothing is ever real. It's only what we envision it to be. Which is often misleading to the ones we care for."

“I don’t understand. Are the two of us real? Like right now?” I said reaching out for her hand.

She didn’t say anything. The both of us stood there a brief moment. That moment of silence and confusion ended shortly as the sky above us decided to down pour.

Hazel wrapped her hands around my face, and stared me in the eyes.

"Harry you should wake up now." Hazel said blankly.

"What?"

That's when Hazel turned into a splash of water to my face.

"What the fuck!" I yelled out loud.

My eyelids blinked a couple of times in order to focus to the area that was surrounding me. I was no longer in the alley once again. I was back in my bed room with Liam hovering over the top of me with an empty glass with a grin plastered on his face.

“Good morning sleeping beauty!” Liam smiled and walked over to the curtains.

“Why were you throwing water on me?” I said rubbing my eyes.

“Trying to wake you up. I tried smacking you across the face but that didn’t work. So I went and got a glass of water to splash on your face. Now that’s what helped.” Liam said finally opening the curtains.

As the sunlight poured into my room it burned my eyes.

“Shut those damn things! It burns! ” I gasped.

“Not today. You need to get up.  No more time to go back to bed and dream. You have serious stuff to get to.” Liam said now standing back over to me.

“No I don’t. I can just lay here in bed all day and drink if you don’t mind.” I said throwing my bed sheet over my head.

There was a soft sigh that I knew came from Liam’s frustrations. But, it seems that the lots of them just don’t understand that I just wish to be left alone and wallow in my own misery.

“Actually I do mind. So if you don’t get up I will slap you and pour water on you again. So get your lazy ass up and start packing and get dressed.” Liam said tugging my sheet off of me.

My sheet was ripped off of me in a matter of seconds, which caused a loud shatter onto the ground.  If I wasn’t in already deep enough shit now with Liam, I would be in deeper shit now in a matter of moments. All because of what just broke on my bedroom floor.

“Harry, please tell me you did not drink that entire whiskey bottle last night?” Liam said with a deeper serious tone.

“I didn’t drink that entire whiskey bottle last night.” I said cockily.

“Damn it you’re such a cocky person whenever you’re hung-over. Harry get your shit together. That is a liter of whiskey Harry. You could have seriously gotten alcohol poisoning from that. Don’t you even care?” Liam said in a frustrated and angry tone.

“I don’t care anymore. That’s the point. Doesn’t anyone realize that? She came into my life and made it pleasant. And now I don’t feel right anymore.” I said in a fast mumbled tone.

“That’s why you need to pack.” Liam said while pulling my suitcase out of my closet.

“I don’t think you understand that I don’t want to go anywhere.” I snapped at Liam.

“No I understand just fine. I’m just too good of a friend to just let you sit here and let your life spiral out of control. So get your shit packed before I have to smack you in the face again.” Liam chuckled.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Well, then you better let Ed know that you’re not coming to visit him in the States then, and I will let you know that he will surely be pissed about you neglecting him like that.” Liam said with a huge grin on his face.

I sat on my bed with a slow grin starting to grow on my face. I haven’t seen my good pal Ed Sheeran in months. This could be a good trip even with my current state of mind. If there was one person who understood what I was going through would be Ed. He always listens before he takes any action with anything. So this could be a good thing.

“See, I thought you would be happy about this. I know Ed can make you feel better, since us boys seem to suck at that. Plus maybe he can help you write some songs for our next album. So technically it would be a win-win situation.” Liam said while starting to pack my bag.

“I guess so.” I said with a smile.

“I never thought I would see that smile again. Now hopefully it stays that way, and Ed can help you try to distance yourself from your memories of Hazel.”

“Yeah hopefully.” I said starting to get up to help him pack. 

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Sorry that this was basically a filler chapter. But thanks for reading :)