The Darkest Pleasures

Chapter 44

Chapter 44

Hazel’s POV

It has been over twenty-four hours since I have seen Harry. I tried yesterday after a few hours of us talking to get in reach with him, but he was nowhere in sight. He wasn’t in his room, the gym, the café, or even the music room. When I went to his room Aaron hesitated about where he was at. I knew he knew where he was, but I’m sure he was told not to tell me.  I wasn’t surprised; I am often left in the dark anyways. It just something that happens when you tend to be fucked up like myself. No one really wants you to know about anything because somehow I manage to ruin it. Just like how I managed to ruin Harry. I guess nothing good can ever come my way. 

Since I hadn’t managed to find Harry, I went to my usual area among the woods that we are allowed to go to. It is really relaxing, especially since they provided us with some benches that allowed us to sit and really I guess think things out. Something we desperately need her at New Directions.

As I was walking to my usual bench I noticed that my curly haired friend was sitting there with his hands slumped in his head. I tried to be as quiet and distant as possible. I didn’t really want to go near him after all this time he has been avoiding me. I mean if he wanted to talk to me he would have already right?

I started to turn and walk away but I started to hear him crying. Could I really be all the cause of this?  I didn’t really want to cause this kind of heartbreak with him. I didn’t want to cause this kind of heartbreak to myself.

“I knew you would find me at some point.” Harry said through a sad embraced mumble.

I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around to face him. When I looked into his eyes I could see that they were blood shot and puffy.

“I’m sorry. I can go, we can talk another time.” I said starting to turn away from him and possibly head back to my room.

“No you don’t have to go. We should probably talk about it anyways. The Doc would want it anyways. I know we have to report back to him soon anyways. So….you can come sit next to me.” He said patting his hand in the vacant spot of the bench next to him.

I slowly walked towards him. I wanted to be hesitant with him. I didn’t want him to blow up at me again. The truth was that was the last thing I wanted with him. I just, I guess wanted to grow closer to him, even though I will pay for it from Ray again. I mean I am his wife now aren’t I?

There was silence between the two of us. I didn’t want to be the first person to make the first move with talking. I didn’t know what to say, I mean he was the one who stormed out yesterday not me. Really right now all I have to say to him is basically the rest of my story until we met back up.

“Can I ask you a few things?” Harry eventually blurted out.

“Yeah sure.”

“Why did you never really show your true feelings towards me? You just don’t paint pictures of people if you don’t like them.”  He struggled to say.

“Harry……I’ve I swear….I’ve already told you this. I could….or really how I can never be with you, that is why.” I also struggled myself to say.

“Yeah…I know you’re with Ray, even though he hurts you. I don’t understand that. And don’t say it is to protect me. Because Hazel I can take care of myself, even though it may not seem like it.” He said in almost an anger tone, but it sounded more hurt.

“Harry, you have no idea what Ray is capable of. Hell….I don’t even know what he is capable of. He scares me.”  I said.

“Then why didn’t you run away. I could have protected you. But no you had to try to protect me, by sending Avery into my life. And she did more harm than good, which hurts me to say.”  He spat.