You lie. You told me that you were my friend. You said that I would always be there for me. You told me that you could trust you with anything and everything. I believed you. I told you about my depression. I told you about how I have panic attacks. I told you that I like girls instead of boys. I opened up to you about how every night I take a blade to my skin in order to feel anything besides self loathing, in order to feel anything at all. I told you how I starve myself and make myself sick in order to be in control of something, because God knows I'm not in control of any other aspect of my life. I opened up my heart and soul to you because you said that you were my friend. my best friend. You said that you loved me. You lied. You fucking lied. You changed, switched around. Something inside you snapped. You stopped talking to me, started spreading rumours. You fucking told me I made up all of my disorders for attention. You told me that I was a liar and that I was a fake. I guess I was, I pretended not to be so hurt by what you said. I pretended not to care when you turned all of my friends against me. Everyone left. You said you wouldn't. You fucking promised me you would stay. You left me alone in an already lonely world and I pretended to be fine. I acted as if it didn't matter to me, showed everyone that I was fine. I can't hide it any more. It's time someone hears this. You broke me. You pushed me into a place so dark that I couldn't get out, so I resorted to taking pills. A lot of pills. I didn't want to be alive any more. You fucking broke me and you continued to kick me while I was down. You carried on like it was nothing, while the cuts on my wrists got deeper, and my weight dropped lower and lower. You fucking broke me and you didn't care. I guess I didn't ever really mean much to you. Here I am, left with not being able to trust anyone. I've started pushing away the only people who have ever truly loved me and cared about me. I'm sorry that I have to write this, but you broke me and I can't pretend any more. Maybe one day I'll be fixed again. Maybe one day I will learn to trust again, but for now, I'm broken. I'm broken and I don't know if I can be fixed.
