I love it when you take a shower the morning after you've cut again, and you get reminded of the pain you had to endure the night before. But you're still here.I wish I could stop cutting... But every reason I had not too, became every reason to all over again..
My heart pounds;
My stomach twists;
The knot in my throat tightens.
I try to hold back the tears as
My mind continues racing.
There's no way to stop it-
Except for one.
I close my eyes and
Reach for the blade.
Taking the cold metal in my hand,
I open my eyes and place it against my wrist.
You did this to me, I think to myself.
It's unfair to place blame on you,
But feelings are never invalid.
I drag the blade across my wrist, moving slowly
To savor the feelings of release it allows.
As the blood wells up, I stare.
Slowly, I close my eyes and my breathing calms.
My heart rests;
My stomach untwists;
I swallow past the now-loosened knot in my throat.
I open my eyes and look down.
Without surprise, I notice the depth of
The cut I've just created.
Placing the blade back down, I lay
Back, a sigh of relief escaping my lips.
I close my eyes;
Finally, freedom.
