You saw the marks on my arms for the first time and you couldn't even believe that I had done this to myself. I feel like I let you down. I feel like you see me as broken.
People don't like sad people.
They just don't. People are liars and say they will always be there, that they like you no matter what, that they care, but they don't. And it's selfish of me to ask people to care. I bring people down. I just wish I could be happy. I wish I could feel how I should. I wish I didn't cry all the time and I wasn't so emotional and sensitive and lonely. I am in so much pain. I just wish I could be who people want me to be, and expect me to be. There expectations terrify me, it's so much pressure to be what they want and I know I'll never meet standards. It's hard going out in public and smiling when you want to disappear.
