Staying With The Bad Boy For Two Months

Not Broken, Just Bent : 22

"This is not what I intended, I always swore to you I'd never fall apart. You always thought that I was stronger. I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start ."

Please listen to the song while you read this. "Titanium" - Nightcore Version

::

 People are like glass. Once you drop them, they shatter. They break. For a long time I never really imagined myself breaking completely, or at least even coming the slightest bit close to it. I never wanted to, either. But losing Kayde hurt worse than anything imaginable. For two weeks I have been quite, trying to gather my thoughts and just move on. Clove was the only one who could help for some time before the slobbery kisses just didn't cut it any more. Alec wouldn't come out of his room. At night I hear things slamming against the wall, him obviously letting his bottled up emotions spill. I understand him for that. Kayde was as close to a brother to him and losing a bond like that is basically losing a piece of yourself. There is just no closure, no way to heal up the wound. 

 My parents are returning home in a week, and then I leave. I leave Alec and this house and Olivia. It is a lot to just attempt at forgetting about, but all of this pain is only causing me grief. It only causes me to be butt hurt and feel sorry for myself. Which, in my defense, I have plenty of reasons to be upset over this. It is too much to handle. The last time I saw Alec was at Kayde's funeral. He didn't speak. He did not look up for a mere second. He simply stared downwards, his teeth bared down harshly against each other. In that exact moment I wanted to hug him. I wanted to tell him that he would be okay, but unfortunately, I am not even sure there is such a thing.

-

 "Have you heard from Alec?" Emery asked, stroking Clove's back softly with her palm. I shook my head, looking back down at my hands and suppressing a soft sigh. "Tanner is the same way. He will not even talk to me, now. He reads the text messages and never replies." 

"Can you blame him?" I asked. It was stern, my voice snapping with no control. I did not mean to say it in such a foul manner, but you really couldn't. Losing Kayde was more than likely the most difficult position I have ever been apart of. 

"I know. I know. It's just, I am a fool for him. I have never been so committed to something like this before. I-I love him, Avi." She said, now tucking her hands into her hoodie pocket and staring down. I frowned, placing a warm hand on her shoulder.

"Sooner or later this will all blow over. Just go to his house and comfort him, for now." I spoke. She nodded, standing up and lifting Clove from her lap. Emery stayed over the night before. She was 'taking care' of me, in her words. But I only saw it as an excuse to make sure I didn't do something I'd regret.

"Are you going to be okay?" She asked, exhaling a sigh.

"Safe and sound." I smiled. Emery cracked a grin, staring at me a moment longer before hugging me. "I will be okay, Em. I promise." 

"I know. But you need to be reassured of that sometimes." I hugged back, releasing and watching as she walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. Clove stared up at me with wide blue eyes. Almost expectantly. As if she were asking 'what next?'. The truth is, I do not know. I picked up the phone.

It ringed.

No answer.

So, I called again. It ringed.

Still no answer. I tried a third time. It ringed.

It answered.

"Avalon, dear." My dad's voice was soft. I pat Clove's head and smiled against the phone.

"Hey, dad. How is the last week of your trip?" I heard him sigh and instantly my smile faltered in concern. When he sighed, it was never a good thing.

"Me and your mother have had an argument, Avalon. We have been spending less time together. We may be home sooner, I'm not exactly positive yet. But regarding that, how are you doing?"

"Well..I've made many friends, here. I'm good. Speaking of which, I have to tell you something. You may or may not be upset with me when I tell you this." I heard him shuffle in the background and gulp.

"You aren't..pregnant..are you?" I laughed aloud, shaking my head. Every dad's worst nightmare.

"Heavens forbid, no! I got a puppy. Her name is Clove. She is still adjusting, but I think you will love her just as much as I do." 

"Your mother will react differently than I. You know I have always wanted to get you a dog, but your mother is very frugal when it comes to these things." My mom was what most would call a 'clean freak'. If one small stain got on the carpet, she would blow a cap. I remember it the hard way. 

"I know, but I want to see how she reacts to it. Please do not tell her yet." 

"Okay, I won't. But if she gets upset at me I'm blaming you." I chuckled, smiling widely. I loved my dad.

"Thank you. I will see you soon, dad. I love you." 

"I love you too, Avi." I hung up, lying the phone down on my night stand and glancing outside of the window. It was getting rather dark outside and I hadn't even ate yet. I stood up and walked out the door, heading down the hall to the kitchen. Once there, I noticed Alec was stood at the sink, hands gripped firmly on the sides and him facing the running water, his face dripping wet. I quickly paced myself towards him and turned the faucet off.

"Alec, what are you doing?" I asked. He turned towards me, eyes blood shot and menacing. I backed away. He looked so different. 

"You are still here?" He hissed, pushing himself away from the sink and closer to me. I held my breath and stared up at him coldly. "I prayed that by now you would have left."

"Not for another week. Disappointed?" He cracked a crooked grin, narrowing his dark grey eyes at me.

"Very." I looked down, feeling his arms snake behind my back and press me up against the counter, caging me in like an animal. "But thank the heavens you didn't." He moved in closer. My heart thumped against my chest, causing me to look down to force a breath. He filled the little space between us with his lips, planting them softly on my chin and towards my neck in little kisses. 

"Stop." I whispered, trying to fiddle my head away from his tender touch, but he just pushed me harder towards the masonry, kissing rather vigorously against the bridge of my neck. I bit my lip to refrain from purring aloud. This wasn't right. It wasn't him. "Alec, stop." I said, louder now.

"No." He grimaced, latching onto my waist forcefully and shoving himself up against my torso, allowing his opposing hand to slither upwards along my stomach. I quickly retorted to these actions and barreled my palms against his abdomen, pushing him backwards. A sudden coldness pelted against my skin as he stumbled back. "What the fuck, Avalon?" He growled. A tear slipped down my cheek as I saw him. What was once a boy who actually gave the slightest bit of a fuck towards me, was now different. He changed. He wasn't the Alec I once knew.

"Look, I get that you are hurt, Alec. We all are. But you cannot just sit here and use me as a rebound. I am not some toy you can just pull from the attic and play with until you get bored, only to throw me back away. I lost Kayde too, you know. So quit having the audacity to say you are hurting more than all of us. Because you aren't. Everyone is showing grief and the only way it will subside is if you quit pitying yourself. Sooner or later, you are going to have to realize that feeling bad for yourself is not going to bring him back. It just won't. And I am sorry." I was crying hard now, emotionally aching to the core. I hated yelling at him. But it was the only thing I could do to stop him from being such an asshole, at times.

"I love you." He whispered softly, looking down at his feet. "All of this time, I have been hurting you. Trying to tell myself that you are not my type and love is just a poor excuse to feel something. To feel wanted or needed." His eyes met mine, they were filled with regret. "But now I realize that love is real and it is not just a counterfeit term used by artificial people. It is genuine, and I feel it with you. I love you, Avalon. I have nothing else to say anymore besides the fact that I love you." Shit.