Black Tattoo

Facing Everything Again

I feel safe, safer than I've ever felt before. Even though I don't remember anything from who I was before, my body remembers. And now, it's completely relaxed. I like it and I don't ever want it to stop.

I open my eyes and see blue flames, they are surrounding me keeping me warm. I lift my hand and try touching the flames, nothing happens, I just feel warmth. I smile and I can't help but giggle.

"Adara?" I call him.

"Hmm." He has his eyes closed, I bet I just woke him up. He also seems relaxed.

"Why were you alone?" I ask him. The thought just occurred to me, when he found me he was alone. We were both alone.

He opens his eyes and lift his head from his paws. He turns to look at me and bright blue eyes stare at me. I feel no anger or anything like that, I feel nothing from them. It makes me sad to see such emotionless eyes, even though they shine so bright.

"That's how I like it. Nobody to bother me." He tells me and turns away from me. That makes me giggle again.

"You're a liar, Adara." I tell him with a smile and I poke his nose. He closes his eyes. "I'll always be with you Adara, that way you don't have to be alone ever again."

Adara smiles, opens his eyes and his blue eye turns to look at me. "You won't say that when you remember."

"Remember what?" I ask him. I have no idea what he is talking about.

"Who you are, everything." He tells me, I feel it. I feel how sad he is. And because I don't know it just makes me sadder. I try to make him feel better.

"We are friends. And we will always be friends." I tell him as I lay my head on top of his and with my hand I pet his head. I like his black fur and it feels soft against my skin. Adara does not say anything and I feel how he doubts me.

"I promise you." I tell him poking his head. I still feel he doesn't believe me. I feel what he feels. I don't know why or how but we are connected. And I just want to make him happy because he seems so sad and angry. "Let me prove it to you."

"How will you do that, little one?" He still isn't looking at me.

"Do you know how to make me remember?" I ask him. He stays quiet but I know he does, he wouldn't be feeling so much dread if he didn't.

"Adara, I know you do, so help me remember." I tell him getting sad.

"I can't do that, little one, if I do you will leave me again." He finally turns to look at me and when he does I feel all his pain and suffering. That's when I realize it.

"You've always been alone and it terrifies you. You don't want to be in the darkness again. But Adara I'm here now and even if I remember everything I will always be your friend. Friends always stay together. So trust me, please." I tell him now making it very clear for him. I know he knows what I am feeling.

After a moment of silence he lifts his head, making me move off of him and he stands on his four legs. He walks a couple of steps away from me and then stops.

"Your name is Kara." Adara says before he gives me his back and slowly walks farther away from me.

It hits me, everything. All my memories come back to me at the same time and I fall to the ground with my hands blocking my ears trying to stop all the pain. I scream. Only a few images are clear to see from all the blur.

My mom with baby Mich in her hands smiling down at him. My dad carrying me so I can look at Mich for the very first time.

Dad, Mich and me watching a movie in the living room as mom makes diner in the kitchen. We are all smiling.