When Darkness Falls

Chapter 29

DAN'S POV

"Phil?"  I knock lightly on the door of his bedroom before cracking it open. 

"Its fine.  You can come in."  Phil calls out quietly from the bathroom.  His voice sounds so drained and tired, and I can't help but frown.  That usually chirpy way of speaking has fully drifted out of his system ever since yesterday.

I stride over to his bed, not wanting to go into the bathroom just in case he'd been crying.  Not because I'm insensitive, but I know how much worse he feels whenever I see him cry, and I figure he doesn't need even a shred more of negative feelings in him today. I know he doesn't. 

I can practically feel the crippling sadness radiating off of him, which reminds me of something I need to ask Zoe.  I thought it was just me over-imagining things when I first heard it, but now I'm not so sure.  Every time Phil seems like he's having a huge wave of emotions come across him, I can almost hear his thoughts screaming at me, but they're not the kind of thoughts where I can hear them like I hear my own.  No, its as though he's screaming to me from downstairs in the living room.  I can't make out everything, but I know enough to tell that he's thinking a bunch.

My thoughts are interrupted by movement in the door of the bathroom.  Phil, with his head hanging low, steps out and I actually have to do a double take.  He's in a full tuxedo, his hair pushed out of its regular fringe to where it looks so much more mature.  His bow tie needs some fixing, but I can help with that.  "Is it too much?"  Phil's voice is barely a whisper, his head still down, fingers lingering over his suit fixing any little wrinkle that shows.  "Dad always said to look the best during these type of things.  Look better than you feel.."  The last part is said slower and in a lower voice.

I bite down on the inside of my lip and gesture for him to come to me.  "Come here, love."

He obeys and strolls over so that he can sit in front of me on the bed.  My hands instantly go to slowly fixing his bow tie, and I can feel his eyes lingering over me, but I don't question it.  I just keep working on the tie, and when I'm done I finally look up so that my eyes could lock with his dark, distressed and rather blood shot pair.  "You look absolutely stunning."  I whisper to him and let my hand lightly stroke his cheek.  He pushes his cheeks into my palm and I let it stay like that until he opens his eyes again.

Without a single word, he moves in a swift motion and takes the jacket of his suit off.  I stare curiously, and then am met with my answer when he kicks his shoes off as well and climbs under the covers next to me.  His arms slither around my waist and tug lightly; his way of asking for me to lay down with him. 

I obey and climb under the fluffy comforter, wrapping my arms around him in the process.  I don't lay as high up as I usually do so that he can lay his head on my chest.  Instead I keep my head leveled with his so that I can look at his face.

All night he was tossing and turning from his nightmares.  He woke up three times crying screaming; twice for his dad and once for me.  I was there both times to hold him until he fell back asleep, though I didn't sleep a second.  There wasn't a chance in hell I could sleep knowing that he was being tormented not only while he was awake but also in his dreams, which is where he's supposed to be able to escape even if only for a few hours. 

Its eight in the morning now, and the funeral doesn't officially start until nine.  It takes about twenty minutes to get to the place, so I presume a few minutes of silence couldn't do much harm.

"Dan?"

"Yes, Phil?"

"What was the worst part to you?  Losing both of your parents and not having another one to lean back on."  His eyes are still closed as we carry on our conversation in whispers.