When Darkness Falls

Chapter 24

A/N this is a fairly long chapter bc i had to fit some stuff in but ik some of you enjoy Phil's P.O.V so there ya go! (This is basically making up for my weeks of not updating. again. terribly sorry guys.♥)

*PHIL'S POV*

The cursed beams of sun shine down from my curtains into my newly awakened eyes earning a tired groan and nothing else. I don't think I could do anything with myself even if I tried. I feel dead. Utterly dead.

More flashes from a few weeks ago rush through my head causing a new wave of tears to form in my eyes.

I cried all night last night. From the moment I knew he went inside for good, then when I drug myself up the stairs at 4 a.m., until I eventually fell asleep. I'm exhausted. I can't even imagine how my eyes could produce anymore tears.

I don't want to be with you, Phil.

A tear rolls down my cheek as I feel another twang of pain in my gut. I flinch just at the thought of how he said it. I sounded so sure when I said he was lying but, honestly, he made it seem pretty damn clear he didn't want me. That hurt a lot.

Maybe he wasn't lying and really was doing this for me. He was doing it to keep me safe. I doubt it.

Another flash back.

When I came home weeks ago to a very drunk Dan, and when he made me dance with him. Then we talked about our feelings and... He bit me. It hurt a bit at first but then I just never wanted him to stop. It was like i took every kind of drug in the world at that moment. He was the drug. And I didn't want him to stop.

I shake my head and let out a shaky breath. These flash backs had been coming back to me in pieces since last night. Some of them were actually very nice, but they didn't help anything. He doesn't want me. That night meant nothing to him. If it really meant something to him then he couldn't have just pushed me away.

But I guess since he won't let me try and be with him now, all I have is memories.

With that I lay back down in my terribly lonely bed and close my eyes. Not really to sleep, more like just to be able to get the full image without any other distractions...

I can hear the crickets chirping and the wind blowing through the trees just like it did that night when he put me on his back and took me to the park. The sky was so clear but you could hardly see it over the trees; not that the sky was my main focus then though. It was Dan. Its always Dan.

He had me wrapped up in his arms staring up and all I could think about was how amazing it felt. It really felt great being wrapped up in his arms and having him leaning against me and hearing him breathe breaths he probably didn't even need to take. "I love you." I whispered. I remember internally freaking out because I had been searching for anything to say and that was the first thing to come out. Its not that it wasn't true. I just hadn't meant to come out of nowhere with it.

But he'd replied almost instantly. "I love you too." There was no hesitation. Not a single beat to think it through.

Then we sat for awhile and talked about how I was 'jealous' of Anthony. I definitely was not jealous of him. Not a bit.

Okay, maybe I was a little but that's beside the point.

"You're mine to mess with." He'd chuckled. As if that would irritate me. He had no idea that whenever I got short and snappy with him, I was actually enjoying myself a lot. I loved when he messed with me. I loved him.

I rip myself out of those thoughts. Before I can even move positions I'm crying again. God this is pathetic, Phil. Pull yourself together. Who cares if he wants you or not?