When Darkness Falls

Chapter 41

Dan, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me.

My eyes burst open as I take in a sharp breath. The sun burns my eyes and worsens the horrible migraine pulsating through my brain. "Phil." I look around. The fire is gone. Everyone is gone. Jenna's body, Sawyer's, Connor's... Phil. Where did Chris take him?? "Phil!"

I try to stand but I end up falling back to my knees as a wave of tears pour down my face. My body feels as if it's on fire; like I'd broken every single bone within me. My head, my heart.. Did Chris not rip it out? I swear it felt like he did after he killed Phil last night.

In a split second, I rip my shirt off and my jaw drops. Right across my chest above my heart, there's a symbol of what looks like a circle or pendant of some kind with a bunch of knots in it carved into my skin. What the fuck? There's another sharp pain that causes me to squeeze my eyes shut and clutch my chest. What the hell is going on?

"Dan?" Zoe's soft, cautious voice calls out from behind me. "Dan let's go inside.."

I look up at her with tears streaming down my eyes; partially from the pain and partially from the realization. Phil is gone.. He's gone and he's never coming back. I'll never have those beautiful bright blue eyes brighten up my day again. They won't be the first thing I see in the morning; the last thing I see before I go to sleep. I'll never be able to brush his flowing black hair out of his face or see the goofy smile he makes every time he does something awkward.

There it is again, the cracking inside my chest. That's the only way I can describe the feeling. It's as if someone has a knife in my chest and just keeps twisting the blade into my heart at different angles every time to make in hurt more. I squeeze my eyes tightly together and grab for my chest letting out a cry of pain before hunching over and throwing my guts up. The vomit that's now littering the ground just looks like straight blood. "Zoe what's happening to me?"  I can barely utter the words through the blood still dripping out of my mouth.

In no time, Zoe slips my shirt back on and wraps her arms around me, pulling me gently from the ground. She holds me up effortlessly despite the fact that I'm practically a skyscraper compared to her. "Its part of the withdraw Dan. You need to go lay down."

"Where did they go? Where did they take his body? Zoe!" Tears are pouring out of my eyes uncontrollably as I shake like my body has been put on vibrate. I feel like a druggie whose only been clean for two days; how they are in the videos, all curled up, shaking, crying. "Please I- I ju- just need to see him, Z-Zoe please!"

"Dan please calm down." I can see the tears forming in her eyes as she practically drags me towards the house. "We need to get you some blood."

Once we get to the door, she practically kicks it open, runs to the living room and throws me down onto the couch.  "We need to talk about what's happening so you don't keep freaking out okay?" She plops herself down right next to me, hands me a bag of blood off of the table and grabs my free hand, her eyes are huge and filled with sorrow and pity. I hate when people look at me like that.

"What's happening to me? Wh- Why do I feel like my chest is being cracked open?" I take in a shaky breath which only hurts more, so I lay my head back against the arm of the couch. The same couch where I accidentally bit Phil for the first time. Same couch where we sat and had a movie night with Zoe when she first arrived. I remember the way he held onto me so tight that night.

Another burst of pain and I'm crying again. "Zoe!"

"Dan you have to stop thinking about it for a bit. Please I know it hurts just focus on me. Hey, look at me." I open my eyes and stare into her big blue ones, but I just feel worse. I want to be looking at Phil, not Zoe. I want Phil to be holding my hands not her. "Dan, everytime you think about it, it's just going to hurt more. The bond you had is resisting the loss by making you feel like this. Since Phil is gone, the bond doesn't want you to carry on. It feels as though you have no purpose to be alive."