When Darkness Falls

Chapter 30

Quick A/N :  I thought the song was a good fit for what happens at one point in this chapter and that edit is actually mine so aye. (Btw yes the song is troye and if you haven't listened to his new album
H O W. ok listen to it yah yah)

DAN'S POV

As I slowly drift in and out of my comforting sleep, eyes still groggy and not yet ready to open, I instinctively reach over to brush my hand over Phil.  I'm met instead with a hand full of sheets from the bed, and I immediately shoot up; my eyes flashing in every direction looking for my Phil.  He's not here.  "Phil?"

In the blink of an eye, I'm downstairs in the living room.  Not here either.

I practically fly into the kitchen, still looking around frantically.  "Phil."  I let out a sigh of relief at the sight of my beautiful angel standing at the stove in only  a pair of boxers.  His ebony hair breaking off in all different directions. 

With wide, curious eyes, he looks back at me and tilts his head.  "Yes?"  The broad morning voice of his makes me lose my train of thought for a split second.

"You weren't there when I woke up.  I just didn't know where you were and I got worried."  I bite down on the inside of my lip while running a hand through my own morning hair to make sure its not as misplaced as Phil's. 

"Oh,"  He looks down with a guilty expression across his nearly perfect features.  "I'm sorry, Dan, I wanted to surprise you and make you breakfast.  You know, since you helped me so much yesterday and all."  His voice trails off and his attention goes back to the eggs in the pan on the stove that he'd been working on when I first barged in here.

A small smile works its way across my lips at his generosity.  "I honestly don't deserve someone as amazing as you Phil."  In just a few small strides, I'm standing behind him snaking my arms around his waist and leaning forward enough so I can speak softly into his ear.  "You don't owe me anything, love.  Everything I did, and will continue doing for you, has been because you deserve it and because you're having a hard time."  With that I grab the spatula from his long, bony fingers and start stirring the eggs myself.  "So how about you let me spoil you instead?"  My lips linger on the area behind his ear and then leave small kisses down to his shoulder.

"I don't need to be spoiled, Daniel.  I am quite fine and can also manage to do every day tasks without falling apart believe it or not."  He mumbles irritably and takes the spatula back, gently pushing his hips back against me to push me away. 

I roll my eyes in response and instead move and sit on the counter next to the stove so I can watch him closely.  "You know,"  I start hesitantly.  "Its okay to not be okay for awhile Phil.  You don't have to pretend everything is fine if it isn't."  My eyes continue searching Phil's face for any sign of irritability or anguish, and for a split second I catch a glimpse of it, but then the dark haired lad regains his original poker face, leaving me in the dark of his real feelings yet again.  Why can't that freaky thing where I can feel his emotions show up now?  Why must it only pop up at the worst times?

"Actually, Dan,"  Phil takes a deep breath, moving the pan off of the hot surface as he speaks.  "I need to do this."  He looks over at me with an upset but also serious look.  "I need to try and be normal and not sit in a big ball of sadness or-"  He pauses and looks down at the ground seemingly deep in thought as he bites down on his lip before continuing.  "Or It'll be  just like when mom died and I'll just completely shut down.  I don't want to be like that.  So please just lets pretend to be normal and not talk about my dad or anything related to death for awhile okay?"

Damn, I'd never actually thought about it like that.  He's making breakfast and not staying in bed all day or crying all the time or.. really anything that people who're in the grieving process usually do.  I can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing.  Its good that he's not going to let this consume him and ruin him like it did last time, but at the same time he's shutting out all of these feelings, and eventually they're going to come back and bite him in the ass.  But, for right now, I guess I'll allow it if he genuinely believes it'll make him happier.