One Life

Chapter 17

Justin's POV

When the plane landed in Miami I ran through the airport as fast as I could and hopped into the nearest taxi. On the way to Lauren's house I kept having flashbacks to the night I was arrested. I'd told myself I'd stay well clear of Miami yet here I was.

After half an hour I reached Lauren's house. I thanked the driver and walked up to Lauren's house. It only hit me now how weird this must look. I had flown halfway across the country to comfort Lauren. Most people would just Skype or call. I guess I just had to be different didn't I? I felt like turning around and leaving but I knew I couldn't because Lauren was expecting me. I took a deep breath and knocked. After a few seconds Lauren opened the door. She smiled at me and told me to come in. I could tell straight away that she was feigning happiness. I could see in her eyes that she was upset.

"It's just me at home. My parents went out and Taylor and Chris are both at their friends houses" Lauren explained. "Justin there wasn't any need for you to come. I'm fine" she continued.

"You're lying" I replied. "I can tell that you're upset by James' comment. There's no need to hide it. You've got every right to be upset. Hell even I'm upset by the comment! I swear if I ever see those guys again I'll punch them for you"

She laughed and shook her head. "There's no need to punch them Justin. But you're right I am upset about what they said. It hurt watching them say that"

I engulfed her in a hug and I heard her sob. It broke my heart knowing that she was upset. I never wanted to see her upset over some guy or even in general. All I ever wanted was for Lauren to be happy. It made me sad whenever she was upset. When the hug broke apart I rubbed my hand up and down her arms and kissed the top of her head.

"How about we order some food?" I suggested. "And if you feel up to it we can talk about this whole thing. I mean I didn't even know you and Brad had broken up"

Lauren wiped her yes and nodded her head. "Food sounds good"

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After we had finished our food we sat down in the living room. I wasn't going to push Lauren into telling me what happened. If she wanted to tell me she could and if she didn't I'd be ok about it. I looked across to where Lauren was sitting. I wondered what was going on in her head. There was silence between the both of us. I didn't think she was going to say anything until she spoke up.

"Brad and I broke up back in December" she said.

"Oh" I mouthed. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"If I'm honest I just didn't think it was that big a deal" she shrugged.

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Not that big a deal?" I asked. "Lauren you broke up with someone you obviously loved and you don't think its that big a deal? Most people would be heartbroken when they break up. Look at least tell me you told the girls about the breakup because if you haven't I'm seriously shocked"

"Of course I told the girls! I'm no that stupid not to tell them. I tell them everything" She snapped.

I was shocked that she had snapped at me. But I didn't blame her. I was probably coming across as judgemental of her relationship. I mean what did I know about love? My relationship had failed. Lauren came over at sat beside me and gave me a hug. I could hear her mumble an apology in my ear. I shook my head and told her that she didn't need to apologise.

"I don't think I was ever in love with Brad" Lauren confessed. "I thought I did but I was just lying to myself. For the first few weeks of our relationship it was great, but I guess when we started to tour together it just fizzled out. I guess I just stayed with him as long as I did because I thought that I was in love. I wasn't though and I was just lying to myself and to him. Hell there were times where I don't think he even meant it when he said he loved me"

I was shocked by this. Anytime I'd seen Brad and Lauren together they always looked happy. I placed my hand on her knee and gave her a comforting smile. She returned the smile and it warmed my heart.

"Lauren, you deserve to have someone who actually loves you" I said. "Someone like..." I let the words trail. I'd gotten carried away. I wasn't going to tell her. I couldn't.

"Someone like who?" Lauren asked.

She looked at me expectantly. Was now really the time to tell her? I was too scared to tell her. The one time I had tried to tell her, I'd see her with Brad. Anytime that memory resurfaced it was just painful to think about. Damn it was now or never. I took a deep breath to compose myself.

"Someone like me" I finished. "I'm in love with you"

"Justin I" Lauren began.

"No listen, this isn't a joke. I am actually in love with you, and I know that you feel something for me" I continued.

I didn't know if Lauren felt anything for me. I doubt she did but I felt like I had to say that, so that maybe just maybe she would admit she had some sort of feelings for me.

"Justin, I'm sorry. I don't feel that way about you"

It felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest when I heard her say those words. She continued talking but I didn't hear anything. Everything was just a blur. I felt like crying. I felt numb. I needed to get out of here.

"I've got to go" I said. "Look just don't talk to me ok? I want to be more than friends but you don't. I'm sorry Lauren but I think it's best if we don't ever see each other again. It's been great knowing you"

"Justin please" Lauren begged.

I could see the tears forming in her eyes. I couldn't stay here any longer. I grabbed my bag and ran out the door. I didn't know where I was going but I ran for what must of been a couple of miles. When I stopped running I looked around to see where I was. I was in a park and thankfully no one was around. I let a roar of frustration out of me. I'd finally told Lauren how I felt and I was shot down. My phone started ringing and I looked down to see that Lauren was calling me. I ignored it until it ran out. When it did I took out my SIM card and threw it away. I didn't want to be in contact with her.

Was I being over dramatic? Yes I was, but I didn't really care. I knew that if I remained friends with Lauren after I told her how I felt our friendship would just be awkward. It was better if we just didn't speak. It would give my heart time to heal. I sighed and decided to head for the airport. There was nothing left for me here.

As I walked away I realised that Miami brought nothing but bad memories.