I've gotten better, really I have, my depression has completely "vanished" if you could say that. In all true reality though, after seven years of full on depression, self harming, and rehab centers I'm finally getting better, oh lets not forget those lovely pills that I took for only two months. I'm glad though, I've learned to be happy and find happiness in every aspect of life as crazy as that sounds. Depression doesn't could my mind anymore, at all... okay well it doesn't cloud my mind most days, I'm usually good at occupying myself and not letting it get to me, but sometimes depression becomes too over powering. Yet I understand that this road to recovery will take most of my life or a good amount of it at that because I run the risk of falling into old habits at any moment and allowing them to take over my life like they once did, scary but true. I don't know though, maybe self harming won't come as easy as the first time, maybe I won't have the guts to bring a blade to my skin and cause cuts and scares to resurface. If I think about it long enough, when ever that slightest bit of depression comes up the desire to tear myself apart sounds completely and 100 % appealing, yet I never end up following what my mind tells me.
YOU ARE READING
my thoughts at 12 a.m.
RandomPeople wonder what goes on in others minds... well here's what runs through my mind during the time where bodies sleep and brains race for solutions to the problems they create or may face each day... yet sometimes most of these thoughts stay a secr...
