I yearn for love. A mothers love I can't ever get back. They used to tell me that when you tangle yourself in bed with someone, they take a little part of you with them. I'd like to say they were wrong and that something like that never happened to me, but I'd just be lying. As I kept searching for this love I had lost, I gave myself away and lost bits and pieces of myself. I desired to feel wanted, and by being wanted maybe I'd feel loved... at least that's what I thought amongst all my brokenness.
As I laid down on that bed, allowing his hands to roam my body, allowing his touch to send chills down my spine, I felt wanted. As we tangled ourselves with each other, oh I felt alive, I felt loved and WANTED. One night of pure lust turned into five nights in a row, with bodies wrapped around each other for warmth, kisses being shared, and thoughts being exchanged. It became a routine of tangled bodies and developing feelings that only kept being pushed to the bottom every time they tried to surface. 'I love you' made its way out our mouths a few times in the exchanges we had with wild kisses and passionate touching. When I say I felt alive in those moments believe me. I felt as if I could do anything and everything. Yet when the time came for me to leave I felt this hole begin to make its way to the surface, almost making me want to throw up in realization that all this time I had been giving myself away for the fakest form of love.
YOU ARE READING
my thoughts at 12 a.m.
De TodoPeople wonder what goes on in others minds... well here's what runs through my mind during the time where bodies sleep and brains race for solutions to the problems they create or may face each day... yet sometimes most of these thoughts stay a secr...
