So This Is Love?

CHAPTER 16 | Ruled Off The List

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Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for - Bob Marley

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CHAPTER 16 ~ Brooke's POV

Only 2 things have been on my mind all week.

1) My anger towards Zach. How could he think it was a pity kiss? Why would I want to kiss him because I pity him? It just doesn't make sense.

And

2) These mysterious notes. I thought that it was Zach sending the notes but I got one yesterday and he is still avoiding me so I doubt that they are from him. I mean it isn't Kai, we established that, and now I have ruled Zach off the list of possible senders so who is left to send me notes about me being beautiful and confessing their crush on me. At first I thought that the note was an accident and was meant for someone else but when I got the second one that idea was ruled out. Then I thought they were a joke but now I am getting notes more frequently, every second day, so my admirer must mean it but who could it be?

"Hello...? Brooke? You listening?" Ella snaps me out of my thoughts, looking quite annoyed mind you.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" I ask her, feeling sorry for not hearing her.

"I was thinking that tonight you and Phoebe come over to mine and we have a sleepover."

I nod my head. It sounds like so much fun. I haven't been to many sleepovers so this should be fun.

...

To say geography was awkward was a huge understatement. I sat next to him but he didn't speak to me much. Thanks Zach...not. I tried to talk to him but he was dead set on ignoring me as much as possible.

"I don't think you understand," I said to him.

"No, I don't think you understand," he replied thus ending our brief conversation.

We used to be able to talk about anything and everything, conversations were easy, but I found myself sitting in my chair looking down at my textbook and racking my brain for something, anything, to say. Nothing came so I sat quietly not concentrating on anything in particular and waiting for him to say something. He didn't.

As of now I sit in the cafeteria waiting for everyone to come to the table. Zach is the only one sitting at the table but isn't talking at all, making me incredibly uncomfortable.

"Zach, we really need to talk," I try my best to start a conversation but it is to no avail.

"No, we don't," he refuses. Like hell I'm going to let him deny my efforts to explain things from my point of view.

"Yes we do. Sooner or later we will have to talk about it and I chose sooner. I understand that you may think it was pity," I start but he cuts me off mid-sentence.

"But that's the thing, Brooke. You have no idea what I went through, what I'm still going through so don't give me that shit."

"No, I don't know what you went through was like but I do know what losing someone is like and what being hurt is like. I know what it's like to love someone and have them not think you're enough. To walk out of the life of someone you love is one of the hardest things a person could do but I had to. So I did. Do you know what that's like? Huh? So don't tell me that it was pity and that I don't understand because I know more than you think," I say and then walk out of the cafeteria. I can't bear to see the pain and sadness on his face because as soon as I do I will cave. I will take it all back. Yes I may have been a little harsh but he can't just assume that I pity him and stop talking to me. I hope that he comes after me so we can talk. I wouldn't even care if we didn't talk but I need him here. He is one of few who can comfort me and make me feel better. I wait for him to come after me. He doesn't.