Polaroid Poems

Poem #62// Noise

I don't know how it happened.
It came out of nowhere.
It hit like a speeding train.
It flashed like lightning.
It whistled like the wind.

The noise was present.
I heard it for many weeks.
I hummed along to the simple tune
Finally feeling content.

But then the noise slowly faded
And the silence quickly returned.
It crept from the shadows.
It howled like a wolf.
It slithered like a snake.

I've become irritable.
I snap, I bark, I hiss, I cry
Without having a logical reason as to why.
It's a puzzle that not even I can solve.

The silence is overpowering.
You're abandoned by the noise,
But accompanied by the silence.
There's an emptiness, a crack, a hole.
And for a brief amount if time,
I don't know how to fill it.

I don't understand it.
I don't know where it came from;
I don't know why.
I can't explain it to others
For not even I, myself, know.

I convince myself it's just who I am,
But I am better than that.
But what is it?
What is wrong with me?
Why can't I figure out what it is?

Is there anything wrong with me,
Or is it just the world that's crazy?
Is there any way to help me,
Or is my condition without cure?

But what do I have?
But what does it mean?
Is my life only a dream?

There's no noise.
Nothing to fill the space.
Nothing to stop you from thinking.
It's silent. It's empty. It's lonely.

Alas, but that is it!
I am with friends, but I am alone.
There is no one to talk to,
No one who understands,
No one willing to listen.

I am with family, but I am ignored.
They have their own problems.
They won't listen for they don't know.
At times it is they who make the fatal blow.

Where is the control?
Where is the love?
Where is the noise?
Where is my ability to care?
I am me, but I am a stranger.

It's all absent.
It's gone.
I am on my own.
But for how long?
When will it end?
Does it ever end?

How will I know?
How will I be happy?
How will I bring back the noise?
Or is it so far gone that
I can't revive it anymore?
~a.k.