As of this moment,
I am disgusted.
And sickened.
Confused.
And tired.
How can you throw your life away like that?
Just like that, with a beer and wash away all of your worries?
You don't care about your daughters.
Don't care that they're crying on Christmas when she begged you not to drink.
What was your response?
"I'm an adult! I can do whatever the fuck I want!"
You're not acting like an adult.
And you are nothing like a mother.
You don't care that I'm crying on Christmas because I care about you.
I shouldn't care about you.
I only hear your dagger-like words, piercing my heart as you screech, "I don't fucking care what she says! She can leave! Leave!"
...
I can leave?
Your oldest can just leave?
What if I didn't want to?
What if I loved you and cared about you and didn't want to leave my so-called mother?
What if I wanted to feel like a family?
You wouldn't care.
You only care about your liquor.
You only see me as a distraction.
I'm only a distraction.
I figured it out.
I hate you.
[12/25/15]
