As of this moment, only one thing comes across my hellish mind.
And that's the robes death is going to drape me in.
I've come to see Death as a friend.
His presence looms over me in my times of weakness.
His silky, sweet voice coos in my ear, his hands caressing my cheek in a way no one ever has before.
I look into his eyes, his beautiful eyes of suicide, and almost silence his words in a kiss, but then a girl comes crashing into my legs, tightly hugging them as she screams, "Please don't go! Please!"
I pull myself from his embrace, feeling the warmth he once had rush back into my body.
And as I look at the small child cry, I see that's she's me.
A younger me, from years ago.
With two long brown braids trailing down her tiny back.
She's sweet.
And innocent.
For her ears haven't heard the word "bitch" used against her yet.
And the magic a child posses isn't gone, so the daydream still sleeps within her.
I touch her cheek, her small little cheek, and instantly envy her.
She doesn't know anything yet.
And I want that so badly.
"I don't want you to go. I want you to stay. I love you and you can't leave me."
My heart swells.
She hasn't felt the dying pain of hating herself yet.
She hasn't cried herself to sleep because of the heartbreak.
Her wide brown eyes of happiness and undying love strike me with a distant familiar feeling.
I kneel in front of her and hug her, so tightly she disappears from my arms.
And I promise the sweet little girl,
"I won't leave. I promise."
And Death, with this grabby hands, tries again.
He sings his sweet song, but I ignore him.
And when he comes to visit once in a while, I ask him how he's doing.
Because Death and I, we're friends.
And friends ask each other things such as this.
Death won't always reply.
He tells me that I am his runaway corpse bride,
That any man would feel weak at the knees seeing my deathly face kissing their cracked lips at midnight.
I wave Death away.
And say goodbye to him as he vanishes into the unknown.
[4/2/16]
