a bunch of untitled random poems i found that were written sometime in april-june 2016
~
I cannot wait to see the way the sun hits your skin, shining back at me with the most perfect delicacy in the world.
I cannot wait to hold you in my arms, protecting you from the ugly world and drowning you in all my sorrows and knowing you'll be there for me, unlike others.
I cannot wait to ruin the world with you, hand in hand, grins cut into our bitchy faces, ready to make this demanding shit show our circus act.
With bow ties and drunken out kisses, the way our bodies mash together like the paint on paper, I cannot wait to be with you.
~
As of this moment, I'm happy.
Not particularly with the little red roses being painted onto my face, but for the amount of guilt that will be taken off of my shoulders when the earth is destroyed and I'm living in that perfect apocalypse.
I will dance with the ashes as they kiss my cheeks, hand in hand with no one, because I'm pretty sure I've lost them all.
Because I'm pretty sure that last person I could trust is gone.
They died. I didn't.
And it makes my chest ache.
It's funny how everyone left me in my hellish little paradise.
Even the fairies in my garden.
Even the cats that meowed at the prostitutes in my alley.
Even the spark of my happiest days.
All died.
All gone.
With just me and the ashes of their bodies, floating around in my head like memories trapped in a bottle.
I feel like I'm out of a cage.
Let's make that joke again, hm?
For old time's sake?
For years to come, when I'm on my deathbed and I remember the person I let go?
Willingly, my dear.
My darling little dear.
And your fucking eyes.
"Let's go away to the wishing well,
And kill everyone in sight."
~
Fucking
Fuck.
Fuck you.
Fuck myself.
Fuck his fat cheeks that don't match his body.
Fuck his tallness and the way he picked me up like a doll.
Fuck his plans.
Fuck her friendship.
Fuck her trust.
Fuck her stupid little boys and how she's dress them like princes.
Fuck her.
Fuck the fairies, let them die,
I want to crunch them in my teeth.
Happy days. Happy days.
