July 9th was the day I realized that I needed to get the fuck over you.
Because while I'm here, waiting, flustering, and being completely overrated, you're out laughing, smiling, giggling, kissing, and being you.
All without me.
Without me giving you the happiness I so desperately want to give you.
Because I know what makes you weak.
What tears you down day after day.
But I guess someone beat me to the punchline and stole the mic from my hands, pushing me aside and standing in your limelight.
And I'm so fucking happy for you.
You deserve the happiness she will give you.
You deserve it so much.
That's all I want, is for something to give you some sort of happiness and not me, with my shy butterfly kisses and no sense of how to fucking tell someone that I like them.
Because I'm scared.
No one really knows this, not even the kitty purring at my ear.
I'm scared every time I tell someone something.
Because I have some deep voice telling me that they're going to take those words and shove them back into my throat, drowning me out with their own thoughts.
So please, whatever happens,
Please still be my friend.
