As of this moment, I want to disappear.
Into the same nothingness that enveloped me with every breath I used to breathe
It felt like a tar, closing up my lungs with every hurtful thought I use to have until I coughed it all up, out of my body, and I was free.
How funny of me that two days ago, I was so focused on one thing
A person, a somebody
The realization that I just can't doesn't sadden me
Because I knew from the very beginning I wasn't going to
And everyone seems that I'm just going to be cheerful and happy and jump into their arms
I'm breathing in that stupid black tar again
And I never wanted to in the first place.
Maybe I'm just being a selfish little bitch
But do you know how many times I've put other people before me?
I got hurt
I was broken
No one seems to think of my feelings
[2/6/16]
