Caskett: Their Home

Chapter 1: It All Started

I stared into oblivion wondering when this night would end. I had struggled to maintain my sanity. It has not been easy continuing to put on this act of pretending I'm fine. I'm not. I get up every morning and go to work, hearing the same theories provided by Castle. Then do paperwork. Then I go home. I go home and drink, not to the point where I black out but to the point where the pain stops. Josh has been in Africa probably sleeping with other doctors there, so why should I worry. I was taken back a bit by a voice I longed to hear.

"Kate? Are you here?" Rick asked me placing a gentle hand on my own.

"Huh? I'm fine Rick, I'm just tired, you should go home." I replied moving my wrist from under his hand and letting out a sigh.

"Are you sure you want me to?"

"Yes, Rick, go home."

"Ok, until tomorrow detective."

"Yeah, maybe."

"What's that supposed to mean."

"Goodnight, that's what it means."

"What about the paperwork."

"I'm gonna stay late and finish it."

"Ok, see you tomorrow."

I got a simple nod and followed him with my eyes. I watched as he got into the elevator. Once the doors closed I immediately got up, and headed down the stairs to my car. I got in and drove to my house, I'd wake up early tomorrow and head to the precinct around 4:00.

When I got back to my apartment I threw my gun, keys, and phone on the counter and walked over to my fridge. I pulled open the handle and opened the bottom drawer. I moved raspberries and strawberries to the side and pulled out the stash of vodka that I had. I got out two bottles and a wine glass. I then walked over to the couch and popped open the bottle. I took a swig of vodka straight from the bottle before pouring some in my glass. I then thought about my role in everything. Did I really deserve what I had? Granted everything that's happened in my life I think I should. But really I thought I was garbage. My mother is dead, and I'm a disgruntled cop obsessed with her death. Really I was deceiving everyone with my act. Going behind their back and investigating farther than protocol. So I threw my glass across the room. It shattered into my TV, but I didn't care. Today was getting the best of me. So I stuck to the bottle, taking it down like water. I leaned back onto my couch and closed my eyes. My emotions were on overload, part of that due to my period. I cried, screamed, drank, bled. Really it wasn't my night. In less than ten minutes, the first bottle was gone and I moved onto the second. I took a swig and felt sick. I was hesitant to get up because I knew it would all come in the morning. Part of the reason I drink so much is because when I throw up in the morning I get skinnier. Which is what I need. I'm not happy with who I am, I want to be perfect. Although being perfect is impossible, I want to get as close to it as I can. So I drank more. I didn't stop, until I heard a knock on the door.

"Kate, are you in there, I need to talk to you," The voice said from the other side of the door. I assumed it was Rick, but I was to drunk and didn't trust the words that would come out of my mouth, "Kate can I come in? Your door's open, so-"

"No!" I screamed, hearing the knob turn. I turned over the back of the couch and trudged to the door, I stumbled over and hit it. It was barely open when I slammed it shut. I struggled to achieve the lock, but I couldn't with my drunken fingers.

"Kate! Are you okay? I'm coming in." I then felt pressure on the door and struggled to keep it shut. Soon enough I could feel Rick pushing the door open along with me against it. He closed it and looked down. He kneeled down and struggled to help me up. I fought against him, needing to be alone, and to finish my bottle. He then picked me up against my will, and wrapped his arms around me. He carried me over to the couch, and set me down. He glanced around the room and looked in horror at the shattered glass and tv screen, along with the empty vodka glass, and spilled half empty one.

"God Rick! would you just leave!" I stuttered standing up grabbing my vodka.

"Kate, no! give me the bottle," Rick ripped the bottle from my hand and set it on the counter. Then came back over to me and looked at the couch. It really shone through my gray couch. I stared down and just laughed at myself, "Kate you're bleeding." he said with eyes full of sorrow.

"I know!" I then walked over to the counter and tripped over my barstool. I fell over and slammed my chin into the floor. I could hear Rick coming over to me, and that only made me angrier. I was drunk to the core, bleeding through my clothes, not getting any skinner, and not getting anywhere in my mothers case. So I gave in. I let all my emotions go and cried, blood running down and through my mouth. In seconds I could feel Rick's warm arms around me, cradling me. I cried into him and wrapped my arms hazily around him. He helped me to my feet and we limped into my bathroom. I sat down on the toilet and he got a rag and dampened it with luke warm water. He then kneeled down to my level and placed the rag gently on my chin. I cringed and a few tears fell from my eyes. He brushed them away, and returned his attention back to my chin. When he removed the rag, he got gauze and some tape. He placed them on my chin and helped me stand. We then stumbled into my bedroom and he helped me lay down. He covered me up, and turned out the lights. I saw him proceed to the door, when I couldn't help but ask one question, "Rick, why'd you come here anyway?"

"I wanted to talk to you about something-"

"What?"

"It's nothing. I just wanted to- never mind, we'll talk when your sober."

"Ok, I'll see you at work tomorrow."

"You're going to work, tomorrow?"

"Yes. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

So this is the first chapter let me know what you think, ❤️

- K