U L T R A V I O L E T

XX

May 23, 19—
Today was absolutely wonderful. I went to the salon to completely reinvent myself. I changed pretty much everything about myself, except for my mental state of course. I think my outside perfectly depicts how I wish my inside felt now. My guide showed my my room and I am on the eighteenth floor. My room number is also, oddly enough, one hundred and eighteen. The more and more I think about it, eighteen has always been quite lucky for me. My full name, counting first, middle, and last names, consists of eighteen letters. My birthday is on the eighteenth day of an insignificant month. My first love wore the number eighteen out on to the field every Friday night. I'm not sure if the last two are all happy and lucky, but they are still some of my run ins with this magical number. I want to get it tattooed really badly. Have it on me forever. Maybe I'll ask my guide next time I see them where I can get it done. Everyone here is so kind and I could see myself being friends with everyone. So accepting and generous. Why can't people be like this everywhere? They should be, and it's a shame that they are not. I wonder if everyone thinks that. I wonder a lot of things really. I hope I meet someone here who likes to explore. Maybe we can be friends and find all kinds of cool stuff together. It would be so invigorating to actually have someone to wonder and wander with. My dark thoughts are slowly coming back though, but I am going to have to ignore them for as long as I can; because I have so much I want to do and my sadness isn't going to hold me back anymore. I didn't come here to be the same person that I was before. I didn't come here to be scared of everything. I didn't come here to hide in my house every day. I came here to change all of that bullshit and I can't let my mind win again, I just can't. I can't fail at this too. I have to go now because my guide is taking me to dinner, but until next time. x
-a.l.r